Jaladdin
by TLSoulDude
Summary: Aladdin spoof. In the City of Crossopolis, the street rat Jaden Yuki and his friends, Sora, Kairi, Kiba, Jack Sparrow, and RJ find a lamp that can summon a gun-happy genie. With enough luck, it can impress Princess Alexis. Jalexis and Sokai. COMPLETE!
1. Cast of Characters

_Hey, readers! My second spinoff, but first Disney Spoof! All of these characters just came to mind. Review the character selections!_

(Wild card in the mix means they don't replace anyone, but are still main characters.)

Jaden Yuki: Dark brown hair that gets lighter around the top. Wears a black jacket with red shirt and black pants. Has a duel disk. In place of Aladdin. Appeared on Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

Alexis Rhodes: Blonde hair in a longer version of Seto Kaiba's hair with blue and white blazer, skirt, boots, and gloves. Has a duel disk. In place of Jasmine. Appeared on Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

RJ: A raccoon with a blue golf bag. Need I say more? In place of Abu. Appeared on Over the Hedge.

Jack Sparrow: Tan skin with dark brown hair turned into dreadlocks. Has various things tied to the dreadlocks including a coin. Red bandana, black captain hat, brown jacket, white shirt, black pants, and a pair of black pants. Wild card in the mix. Appeared on Pirates of the Caribbean.

Sora: Spiky brown hair with black jacket, white shirt, a crown necklace, baggy black pants with various loops on them. Wild card in the mix. Appeared on Kingdom Hearts.

Kairi: Red hair with pink zipper jacket over a white shirt with blue lining and a purple pair of shorts. Wild card in the mix. Appeared on Kingdom Hearts.

Kiba: Gray jacket with spiky black hair. Unusually fangy with red streaks under his eyes. Wild card in the mix. Appeared on Naruto.

Akamaru: A white dog with black ears. He's always zipped up in Kiba's jacket. Wild card in the mix. Appeared on Naruto.

Mr. Krabs: A red crab with large light green eyestalks, crooked nose, a blue shirt with dark blue pants and a large belt. In place of the Sultan. Appeared on Spongebob Squarepants.

Red XIII: A red cat/wolf thing with a wild headdress. Has a XIII tattoo on his left shoulder and a fire thing on his tail. In place of Raja. Appeared in Final Fantasy VII.

Orochimaru: White skin with a mop of black hair. Snake-like eyes and is a black genie when he wishes himself so. In place of Jafar. Appeared in Naruto.

Chazz Princeton: Pale skin with spiky black hair. Has a black jacket, grayish purple jacket, black pants and shoes. In place of Iago. Appeared in Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

Jim "Crocodile" Cook: Spiky black hair with bandaged left eye. Black leather jacket with white shirt, orange bandana over neck, black pants, brown boots, and a crocodile strapped to his back. Wild card in the mix. Appeared in Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

Squad 7: Naruto (a kid with spiky blonde hair and an orange suit), Sasuke (a kid with spiky black hair and a blue suit), Sakura (a girl with pink hair and a red dress with black pants), and Kakashi (a man with spiky silver hair with an indigo mask pulled over most of his face, dull green vest, and indigo suit.) Wild cards in the mix. Appeared in Naruto.

Hinata: Pale lavender eyes, grayish sweater, indigo hair, and is one of the smaller members. Wild card in the mix. Appeared in Naruto.

Neji: Brown hair, pale lavender eyes, a good bit taller than Hinata. Wears a baize shirt and brown pants. Wild card in the mix. Appeared in Naruto.

Vincent Valentine: Wild black hair, red headband and mantle with brown eyes. A black suit, golden boots, and golden metal clawed right hand. Wild card in the mix. Appeared in Final Fantasy VII.

Shrapnel: Spiky black hair, black vest over a bare chest, an indigo tail, and has a pair of guns. Voiced by Quinton Flynn. In place of Genie. OC.

Bumblebee: A yellow robot who can turn into a 2008 Camarro. He can't speak, so he uses the radio. In place of Carpet. Appeared in Transformers.


	2. Crossover Nights

Chapter 2: Crossover Nights

Two people are running across a blazing desert. One was a blue hedgehog and the other was a two-tailed fox, who was using said tails to glide across the sand whereas the hedgehog was moving at tremendous speeds. The fox then started singing. (A/N: Whenever I go into a musical between two characters, I'm using script format, otherwise it's novel format)

Fox: _Oh, we come from a land. A faraway place where heroes and ninjas roam. Where it's flat and immense, where the heat is intense. It's barbaric…_

Hedgehog: _But, hey! It's home._

The two then kick up a sandstorm and near a city.

Hedgehog: _When the wind's at your back and the sun is in the west. When the glass in the sand is right. Come on down, stop on by. Hop a Transformer and fly TO ANOTHER CROSSOVER NIGHT!_

In the center of the city is something like a futuristic castle.

Fox: _Crossover nights, like crossover days! Most often than not are hotter than hot, but in a good way!_

Hedgehog: _Crossover nights, 'neath crossover moons! A fool off his guard could fall and fall hard out here on the dunes._

The hedgehog, named Sonic, and the fox, named Miles (but everyone called him Tails) stopped in front of three cats.

"Do we ALWAYS have to go into a musical?" Sonic asked, Tails simply shrugged.

"We do the musicals, because it was in the movie." He stated, flatly. They then noticed that three cats were watching.

"Welcome to Crossopolis!" Sonic stated, dramatically to whoever's reading this and he summons a pack of playing cards out of nowhere "A place of magic and mystery. Of wealth and wonder!" Sonic said this as his did various things with the cards from making them vanish to making them fall out of nowhere. Tails then went into his Ali Baba outfit and threw out a stand.

"And the finest merchandise this side of animation! Welcome, come one, come all! To the grand opening of Sonic and company! We have the finest…" Tails started, but Sonic interrupted.

"Forget the sales pitch, Tails. Let's just get into the story!" Sonic stated as he held out a lamp of a certain Djinn who tried erasing the Arabian Nights. He poured some glitter into his hand. "It begins like THIS!" The hedgehog threw the glitter into the air. Tails then took up an ominous tone.

"Where a dark man waits. With a dark purpose…" He stated.

A man with white skin, a mop of black hair, snake-like eyes, pale yellow robes, and weird purple things attached to his back was waiting on a horse. Next to him was a teenager almost as pale as him with spiky black hair and black garbs. In other words, he looked like a Goth. Soon, someone with wild white hair, a pale green vest, indigo clothing, and a headband tied across his head with a scratch across the leaf symbol on it.

"You got it, I presume?" The pale man, Orochimaru, asked.

The silver-haired man tossed Orochimaru's henchman, Chazz Princeton, half of something.

"Do you have a reward or something?" Asked the silver-haired man, named Mizuki.

"Patience, Mizuki. Your reward will come in time!" Orochimaru too half of the thing and placed it into another half and it formed a snake. It immediately slithered away into the distance. "QUICK! FOLLOW THE TRAIL!"

They followed the trail into a sand dune. Suddenly, a giant, purple snake (Manda) burst from the ground. It growled in apparent aggression.

"Who has disturbed MY slumber?!" It roared.

"FINALLY!" Orochimaru said, in ecstasy "After fifty years of searching…the Snake of Wonders!"

"Could use a makeover in MY opinion." Chazz pointed out.

Orochimaru then grabbed Mizuki by the jacket.

"Now, GO!" He commanded "And bring me the lamp! Keep whatever you find, but the lamp is MINE!"

"Who dares disturb my slumber?!" Manda demanded as Mizuki approached, cool as you please.

"It is I, Mizuki." Replied the traitor ninja, kneeling before the summon snake "A humble ninja."

"Know THIS!" Manda shouted "Only ONE may enter here. One whose value is deeper within. A diamond in the rough."

Manda then uncoiled to show a cavern to a glowing room. Mizuki took one step into the cave, cautiously. Nothing happened.

"See? No problem." He said, coolly.

His euphoria was short-lived, seeing as the moment he took a few more steps into there, Manda roared and began to collapse the cave. Mizuki screamed and tried to make for the exit, only to get caved in.

"NO!" Screamed Orochimaru, covered his face from the sand.

"I'm gonna need a HUNDRED human sacrifices for this…" Manda mumbled to himself, before calling "Remember, the diamond in the rough!"

Chazz wasn't as lucky as his employer, seeing as he was covered in sand. He pushed himself out and began dusting himself.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT!" He exclaimed, getting the pieces to the snake "We're NEVER gonna get that STUPID lamp!" He then checked his hand to see several pieces of his hair in it "Look at it! I'm so freaked that I'm tearing out my OWN HAIR!"

"Calm yourself, Mr. Princeton." Orochimaru said, coolly, taking the pieces, and placing them in his robes "Mizuki, apparently, wasn't the right person."

"No DUH!" Said Chazz, rudely "I'm gonna die of NOT being surprised!"

Orochimaru decided to ignore this comment, seeing as he said "We must find this…diamond in the rough."

_Please review, this is my first novel-format fic!_

_TLSoulDude._


	3. Meet Jaden and his Crew

Chapter 3: Meet Jaden and his Crew

"Stop, thief!" Shouted a girl with long blonde hair, Ino Yamanka, followed by a boy with brown hair, tied back into a spiky bun, Shikamaru.

"Man," said Shikamaru, using his main line "What a drag…"

A kid with brown hair with a lighter shade near the top with a black jacket and matching pants and a red shirt was running past. A fat cat was running after him with three turtles wearing red, black, green, and yellow garbs, a tan, muscular man, and a weird alien…thing with a helmet. The cat, named Pete, was after the kid, Jaden.

"I'll have your head for this, ya punk!" Pete shouted. Jaden then looked at the object he stole—a simple container of chips labeled 'Spuddies'.

"All this hassle JUST for a thing o' chips?" He asked himself before shrugging "Ah well…"

He jumped down a clothesline and went past several windows, picking up several clothes until he landed. He disguised himself to get away from the rest. He then landed in front of the tan man, Tyranno Hassleberry, who didn't seem to raise an alarm.

"Gettin' in trouble a bit early," Hassleberry asked Jaden, as if commenting about the weather "Ain't we, sergeant?"

"Trouble?" He asked the guard, as if addressing an old friend "Nah. Ya only get in trouble if ya get caught."

"Gotcha, punk!" Pete shouted as he grabbed Jaden's shoulder.

"NOW I'm in trouble!" Jaden said, slightly worried.

"THIS time…" Pete threatened, but he never got the words out, seeing as a boomerang hit him on the head. It returned to the hand of a raccoon with a blue golf bag.

"Thanks, RJ!" Jaden shouted.

"No problem!" The raccoon, RJ, responded, but only in squeaks. He jumped onto Jaden's shoulder and the two ran off.

"Get 'im, Hassleberry!" Pete commanded "Or do ya want to end up like your old friend, Mr. Inuzuka?!"

Jaden and RJ ran off to a building.

Jaden: _Gotta keep…one jump ahead of the breadline._

The alien, Marvin the Martian, fired his blaster at Jaden, only to shrink an unsuspecting Eddy (Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy).

Jaden: _One hop…ahead of the blast line!_

RJ saw that they were being pursued by the turtle in black, Koopa Black, and pulled his mask over his eyes.

Jaden: _Only steal, what I can't buy!_

"Which is EVERYTHING!" Jaden shouted as the Black Koopa tumbled into the other three turtles and all four of them, the Koopa Bros., crashed into the ground.

Jaden: _One step, ahead of the lawmen! That's all and that's no joke! These losers don't appreciate that I'm broke!_

Jaden scrambled up just as Marvin and the disoriented Koopa Brothers try to get at him.

Pete: _Riffraff!_

Hassleberry: _Street rat!_

Marvin: _Scoundrel!_

Koopa Bros.: _Take that!_

Pete threw exploding balls, Hassleberry stayed out of it, Marvin fired his blaster, and the Koopa Brothers started slamming into the platform Jaden was on.

"It's just a snack, guys!" Jaden exclaimed/whined.

Jaden: _I can take a hint, gotta face the facts, run all day. You're one of my only friends, RJ!_

Jaden jumped into a window and saw Blaire Flanagan (Yu-Gi-Oh GX), Larxene (Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories), Dani Phantom (Danny Phantom), and Gwen Tennyson (Ben 10).

Girls: _Who?_ _Oh, it's sad, Jaden's hit the bottom! He's become a one-man rise in crime!_

Jaden flirts with them, only to see J. Jonah Jameson (Spiderman).

J. Jonah: _I'd blame parents, but this weirdo ain't got 'em!_

The mad editor tried punching Jaden, but he ducked. Jaden ran past and looked a bit seduced by Larxene.

Jaden: _Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat! I'd tell ya more if I had the time!_

Larxene grinned, playfully, before shoving Jaden out the window. Jaden hid behind Hercules, flexing his muscles, while Jaden was copying his moves.

Jaden: _One jump ahead of the slowpokes! One skip ahead of my doom!_

Jaden messed up and the crowd gasped because of it. He grinned, sheepishly, before picking up RJ and running away.

Jaden: _Next time I'll use a nom de plume!_

"There he goes!" Shouted Marvin.

Jaden then jumped across a herd of Mareep, while the guards tried going through them.

Jaden: _One jump ahead of the hit men! One hit ahead of the flock!_

Jaden and RJ were already across the flock and walked away, casually.

Jaden: _RJ and I will stroll around the flock!_

Jaden and RJ ran past a certain ninja with a dog zipped up in his jacket, who stopped Hassleberry when he passed.

"Hassleberry!" Shouted the ninja, Kiba (Naruto).

"Oh, hey Kiba." Replied Hassleberry, casually "How're the others?"

"Well, Sora and Kairi aren't too bad and the same with Jack." Replied Kiba "But, could you mess up the guards…for old times' sake?"

"You say that EVERY time, Kiba." Sighed Hassleberry, but cheered up "And I do it EVERY time. Alright."

Back with Jaden and RJ, they were being backed to the wall.

Jaden: _Now, let's not be too hasty…_

One of the hippo ballerinas appeared and grabbed Jaden in a hug and spoke in a high, squeaky voice.

Hippo: _Still, I think he's RATHER TASTY!_

"Dude…" Jaden said as he got out and ran for it. He then hugged Pete and Marvin like they were old friends.

Jaden: _Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat otherwise we'd get along!_

Pete and Marvin: WRONG!

The guards did a dog pile, but missed Jaden and RJ, who ran off.

"There they go!" Shouted the green Koopa Brother.

Jaden and RJ ran across a burning stretch with Ghost Rider on it. The guards, however, got their feet burned. RJ spotted Zoro from One Piece and took one of his swords.

"HEY!" Shouted Zoro as the raccoon tried defending himself from the guards.

"He's got a sword!" Exclaimed the yellow Koopa Brother.

"We've ALL got swords!" Shouted Pete and everyone, except Marvin (he had a blaster), drew various-sized swords. RJ grinned and left the sword.

Jaden: _One jump ahead of the hoof beats!_

Crowd: _Vandal!_

Jaden: _One hop ahead of the hump!_

Crowd: _Street rat!_

Jaden: _One trick ahead of disaster_

Crowd: _Scoundrel!_

Jaden: _They're quick—but I'm much faster_

Crowd: _Take that!_

The guards chased Jaden and RJ to a staircase, where the raccoon pulled out a pair of plastic bags.

Jaden: _Here it goes, I'm throwin' a hand in! Better wish me happy landin'! All I gotta do is jump!_

Jaden and RJ jumped out and were followed by the guards (save Hassleberry, seeing as he pushed them), who fell into goop labeled "Lilo & Stitch's Experiment Fluid". Jaden and RJ used the plastic bags as parachutes and floated, safely, to the ground.

"Good goin', bro!" Said Jaden, giving RJ the knux and handing him some chips "Here's your share."

Jaden handed RJ some chips and was about to take one himself, but saw Spongebob, Patrick, and Gary scrounging for food. RJ ate a chip with one bite to try and keep Jaden from getting ideas. Too late. Jaden walked over and handed the canister to Spongebob.

"Here, dude." He said "Take 'em!"  
"Really?!" Spongebob asked, ecstatically.

"Yeah." Jaden replied, waling away. RJ then started to get sorry for them and handed out his chips.

"Here." He mumbled "Take 'em. JUST DON'T PET ME!" He said, in his own language, which was mainly squeaks and squeals. He then heard trumpets and ran over and got onto Jaden's shoulder. Kiba was standing next to a certain pirate with a red bandana and several dreadlocks, this was an old friend of Jaden's named Jack Sparrow, however he preferred Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Hey Kiba, Akamaru, Jack. What's happenin'?" Jaden asked. Kiba turned and a white dog with floppy black ears popped out of his jacket. There was a person with military camouflage garbs, extremely large muscles, white hair, a small crown floating above his head, and a large wand riding on a bull.

"His name's Jorgan von Strangle." Said Kiba.

"Yet another suitor for the princess." Continued Jack.

"Jack and I took bets on how HE'S gonna be humiliated." Kiba said, grinning "I bet that something happens to his pants."

Spongebob, Patrick, and Gary ran past the bull, which tried bucking Jorgan off. He tried blasting the trio, but Jaden took the blast with his Duel Disk.

"HEY!" He shouted "If I was as rich as YOU, I'd buy myself some MANNERS!"

"I will show YOU manners, you PUNY street rat!" Jorgan shouted in a thick, German accent before punching Jaden into the mud. RJ made an 'ick' noise and everyone laughed at him. Kiba and Jack helped him out.

"You okay, Heydan?" Asked Jack, getting Jaden's name wrong…again.

"It's Jaden and I'm fine." Replied the dueling street rat, heaving himself onto his feet and grinning as Jorgan rode off "Look, guys, it's not every day ya see a bull with TWO rear-ends!"

The bull and Jorgan looked insulted by this.

"YOU!" He shouted "Puny duelist! You're NOT worth ANYTHING! You were BORN a street rat! You will DIE a street rat! And only your head lice will mourn you!"

Jorgan passed into the castle gates and Jaden looked HIGHLY insulted by this.

"I'm NOT puny!" He said to himself "And I DON'T have head lice."

"Aye." Replied Jack, scratching his head, which was itching "We've kept RJ well groomed."

THIS got him a snarl and Jack turned, being the only person who could understand the raccoon.

"Hey, it's not as if I did ANYTHING serious." He said "I MAY be a pirate, but…"

"C'mon, guys." Said Jaden, depressed "Let's go home."

"Never seen Jaden this put down before. You, Akamaru?" Kiba asked his dog, who barked "You too, huh?"

"Let's head for home, mates. Savvy?" Said Jack and RJ ran and hopped onto Jaden's shoulder "But if you go into a sentimental song, we'll throw you overboard."

"Deal." Jaden sighed. So, the _There's So Much More To Me_ song was cut out, seeing as Jaden didn't want to know what Jack meant by being 'thrown overboard' as Jack put it.

They wandered back to a loft and saw two teenagers. One was a boy with spiky brown hair and black Drive clothes, Sora, and the other was a girl with red hair and a pink zipper jacket, Kairi.

"So, where's dinner?" Asked Sora.

"Oh, right." Said Jaden, snapping back to his senses "I, uh…gave it to Sponge, Pat, and Gary."

"WHAT?!" Shouted Jack and Kiba.

"Akamaru's starving!" Shouted Kiba, Kairi sighed.

"And, when you say Akamaru, you mean yourself, Kiba." She mumbled.

"We're PIRTES!" Exclaimed Jack only to have the others stare at him "I mean, thieves. We CAN'T go around, giving out our dinner like charity. Savvy?"

"Sorry." Jaden said "But they were SCROUNGING in the trash. I couldn't let old friends starve like that."

"He's got a point." Said Sora.

"We'll just try harder tomorrow." Replied Kairi, optimistically.

"Well, might as well…" Kiba said, yawning "Call it a day."

Kiba took off his jacket and wrapped up Akamaru in it. He took a pillow and flopped down on it.

"Didn't even get us our rum." Said Jack, dramatically.

"You're the only one who LIKES those drinks, Jack." Sora mumbled, getting comfortable and sleeping close to Kairi. The two had…mutual feelings for each other. RJ curled up into his golf bag and Jaden laid his head down. Luckily, the raccoon had some things that were pleasant to lay on.

"Guys," Jaden said, sleepily "One of these days, we're gonna have…the best life."

Jaden then fell asleep. RJ then came out and curled onto his chest. The six only had each other, but at least they weren't alone.

_**Please review!**_

_**TLSoulDude.**_


	4. Life in the Palace

Chapter 4: Life in the Palace

There was a roar from inside the palace. A certain red crab with large eyestalks scuttled away at tremendous speeds. He saw Jorgan leaving.

"I have NEVER been so humiliated in ALL my life!" The muscular fairy roared, walking away with a hole in his pants, showing heart boxers.

"Wait!" Shouted the crab, predictably named Mr. Krabs "Don't go!"

Jorgan simply grabbed Mr. Krabs by the eyestalks and threw him away.

"Good luck marrying her off." He growled and left after adding "You PUNY crustacean!"

Mr. Krabs got up, growled and skittered off into the courtyard. There was a teenage girl with blonde hair, a blue and white blazer with blue skirt, boots, and gloves with a duel disk.

"Alexis!" Mr. Krabs shouted. A red cat-dog thing with some sort of headdress, a XIII tattoo on its shoulder, a flame on its tail, and a large piece of pants in its mouth then ran over. Mr. Krabs snatched the piece of pants out of the mouth of the creature, called Red XIII "Arrgghh. That's why Jorgan left. He's the fifth one…this MONTH!"

"C'mon, Krabs." Said the girl, Alexis Rhodes, as she walked over to Red XIII "Red was just playing with him." She then adopted a cute tone "You were just playing with that muscle-bound idiot, weren't you?"

Strangely, Red XIII spoke in a somewhat solemn voice. "He didn't even taste that good."

"Come on, Alexis!" Mr. Krabs stated, flatly "You've got to stop rejecting EVERY suitor that comes through the gates. The law states that you must be married…"

"To some great warrior or prince." Alexis replied, apparently bored.

"By yer next birthday." Mr. Krabs continued "And your husband can give ME his money…I mean…"

Alexis then pulled a Biyomon out of a small pen and began stroking it. "I don't enjoy being pressured, Mr. Krabs. If I DO marry, I want it to be for love."

"Aye, I know." Patrick took the Biyomon and put it back into the pen "I just want ya to be taken care of."

"What if I don't wanna be a princess anymore?!" Alexis demanded, causing Krabs to slap himself.

"Neptune forbid ye have any daughters!" The salty crustacean shouted, skittering off. Red XIII walked over to Alexis.

"At least you HAVE a marriage to look forward to." Said XIII "I'm the last of my kind as far as I know."

"I know, Nanaki." Replied Alexis, using XIII's ACTUAL name. She then opened the pen and all the Biyomon ran out and flew away "To be free…"

Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs was murmuring to himself.

" 'What if I don't wanna be a princess anymore'." He said, mocking Alexis' tone "Jeez. Her brother was right sayin' she was stubborn. Arrgghh."

He began counting his money, a favorite past-time of his, when a figure shaded it. "HEY! Who is it?! I can't see the numbers on me money!" Mr. Krabs shouted before seeing Orochimaru and Chazz "Oh, Mr. Orochimaru, my trusted advisor. Y'know, I was thinkin' I could use yer help."

"How may I serve you, my lord?" Orochimaru said, bowing "My loyalties go only to you."

"It's the whole suitor business." Mr. Krabs murmured "I'm at the end of me rope."

"End of his rope…" Chazz mocked. Mr. Krabs picked up a certain burger.

"Here, Mr. Princeton! Have a Krabby Patty!" Mr. Krabs said before jamming it down Chazz's throat.

"You have a way with worthless lackeys." Said Orochimaru "I might be able to help you…with a payment of that dollar."

Orochimaru pointed to a dollar taped to Mr. Krabs' chest.

"What? Me millionth dollar?" Mr. Krabs asked, dumbfounded "No way. Just…crawl back into your cave."

"Fine, be that way." Orochimaru stated, taking a card from Chazz's pocket. It was labeled 'Mind Control'. He held it in front of Mr. Krabs "Don't worry. EVERYTHING will be fine."

"Everything will be…fine." Mr. Krabs mumbled, falling under the card's influence.

"The dollar." Said Orochimaru, voice distorted.

"Yeah, Orochimaru." Mr. Krabs said, spellbound "Anything yeh say will be fine."

Mr. Krabs held out the dollar and Orochimaru snatched it.

"Thank you for your cooperation." Said Orochimaru "Now, continue counting your money."

"Good idea…" said Mr. Krabs, still being controlled.

Orochimaru and Chazz left behind a secret passageway. Chazz coughed the burger back up.

"If that cheapskate crab forces me to eat ONE MORE of those burgers…" Chazz growled and slammed his fists together "I'll have to Chazz him up!"

"Calm yourself, Mr. Princeton." Said Orochimaru, pocketing the dollar "If this goes as planned, I will be king and not that greedy crustacean."

"THAT means," said Chazz, excited "I can shove burgers down HIS throat!"

The two cackled as they reached their lair.

Later that night, Alexis ran out with her face covered in peasant's clothes.

"Alexis, where are YOU going?" Asked someone. She wheeled around to see Red XIII and sighed in relief. She then stroked his fiery fur.

"Sorry, Red." She said "But I have to do this."

"I understand." Red XIII replied "I'll help you up."

Red XIII stood next to a wall and Alexis used him as a lift to get beyond the wall.

"I'll miss you, friend!" She called as she ran.

"I'll miss you, too." Red XIII said to himself before returning.

_**Please review.**_

_**TLSoulDude.**_


	5. Street Rat x Princess

Chapter 5: Street Rat x Princess

It was another day in the market of Crossopolis. RJ clambered down to a store labeled 'Homer's Soup Store' and took a few thermoses of it.

"HEY!" Shouted the fat, bald, yellow man with blue pants and a white shirt (Homer Simpson) "Give me back the soup or else, ya lousy raccoon!"

Homer tried getting RJ, but he jumped onto a ledge and Homer fell to the ground.

"D'OH!" He grunted in pain. RJ then dipped into his golf bag and pulled out a Ming vase and dropped it on Homer's head. RJ then flipped himself up and tossed Jaden, Kiba, Sora, Kairi, and Jack thermoses filled with soup.

"Good goin', RJ!" Jaden said, chugging his soup.

"Take some, Akamaru!" Kiba said, giving his puppy some.

"You shouldn't be feeding soup to a dog, Kiba." Stated Kairi.

Meanwhile, Alexis was wandering around. A crocodile, chameleon, and bee named Vector, Espio, and Charmy (Sonic the Hedgehog) noticed her.

"Hey, ma'am! If you want video games or movies, they're at half price at the Chaotix Rental Store!" Shouted Vector, but Alexis passed them.

"What now?" Asked Espio.

"LUNCH TIME!" Shouted Charmy.

A meerkat and warthog named Timon and Pumbaa (Lion King) also noticed Alexis and tried selling her trinkets.

"Like 'em?" Asked Pumbaa.

"Pretty trinkets for a pretty girl!" Timon said, but Alexis passed them by, too.

"I've got plenty of Materia!" Shouted Yuffie (Final Fantasy VII), but Cid (Final Fantasy VII) soon entered the scene.

"I thought yeh collected those." He grumbled "Yeh even put a sign on the box that said 'Touch and die'."

Jaden sipped his soup and saw Alexis. He swallowed it and choked slightly. Sora slapped him on the back and helped him swallow. Jaden didn't even thank Sora as his eyes wandered back to Alexis.

"She's hot!" Was all he could say.

"I know." Said Jack, chugging water "Why RJ even TOOK the fresh and hot soup, I don't know. I prefer the lukewarm type."

"NOT the soup, Jack!" Said Kairi, following Jaden's gaze to Alexis "Jaden's found a girl."

Alexis brushed up with a certain black hedgehog with red streaks and a white tuft on his chest. Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog) gave her the evil eye and growled.

"Watch it." He threatened and continued on his way.

"Sorry!" She apologized, hurriedly.

Alexis then heard her stomach grumble. Spongebob and Patrick saw and heard this.

"Hey, if Jaden could do it…" Spongebob said, casually taking an apple from a stand. He tossed it to Alexis.

"Here!" Said Patrick, laughing his stupid laugh "Enjoy!"

"HEY!" Shouted the owner, who was an anthropomorphic wolf named Wolf O'Donnell (Star Fox). His eyes (organic and mechanical) darted around and saw Alexis with an apple. He grabbed her arm before saying "You'd better have MONEY for that…"

"Sorry," Alexis apologized "I don't have any."

"Ya know the punishment for thievery!" Wolf growled before pulling a lightsaber from General Grievous' cloak. The robotic general growled before returning to his own business.

"Wait!" Alexis said, hastily "If you can let me go to the palace, the king can GIVE me…"

Jaden couldn't let THIS continue and he jumped down.

"He's gonna get himself caught with one man." Jack said as he jumped down, followed by RJ. Jaden stopped Wolf.

"Whoa!" He said, going over to Alexis "Where have you been?! Do you know how worried I've been?!"

"Ya know this girl?" Asked the space pirate wolf.

"Yeah, she's my cousin." Jaden continued "She's a bit…uh…crazy. No REAL harm in her, though."

"She said she knew the king." Wolf growled. RJ and Jack caught up with Jaden.

"Oh, THAT." Jaden said, sweating, but he then noticed RJ "She meant the raccoon. She thinks that HE'S the king."

Jaden made a motion to Alexis to play along and she bowed to RJ.

"Oh, mighty king. How may I serve you?" She asked, slurring her words.

"Well, for starters…" RJ commanded, but the rest was back in his own language—squeaks and squeals. Jack then walked over to Wolf.

"The boy isn't exactly sane either." He said to Wolf "I mean, he even thought that I was the clever and handsome Captain Jack Sparrow. He says that his father was nuts. His father's father was nuts. And even his father's, father's, mother was a bit crazed. But, no real harm in 'em, so give 'em a pass mate. Savvy?"

"Go on." Wolf growled, tossing the lightsaber back to Grievous.

"Come on, cuz." Said Jaden "We'll get ya to a doctor."

Alexis stopped at a Sonic Duck.

"Hello, doctor. How are YOU today?" She asked, slurring her words.

"Not THAT one!" Jaden said.

"Overkill, lass." Jack said. He then held out an apple and a bottle of some alcoholic drink he got from Wolf and shrugged.

"Drink up, me hearties, yo ho." He said, quoting the song and chugging the drink "Only gin…not as good as rum, but it'll do."

"Run." Jaden whispered to Alexis.

"What?" Alexis asked as Wolf looked for his gin, didn't find it, and turned back to them.

"Run!" Jaden shouted as Wolf chased them. Sora, Kairi, and Kiba followed them, too. Kiba growled and turned to Jack.

"WHY DID YOU TAKE THAT?!" He demanded of the pirate.

"The devil made me take the apple and gin." Jack replied before throwing in "Savvy?"

"Just keep running!" Shouted Sora.

Back in Orochimaru's lair, Chazz was working some heavy machinery.

"Uh…Orochimaru?" Chazz asked, gasping for breath "Wouldn't it JUST have waited for a REAL storm?!"

The machine he was working was powering a storm.

"Because it's necessary and I just LOVE seeing you suffer." Replied Orochimaru, coolly. The snake man placed Mr. Krabs' one millionth dollar into the storm "Show me the one we need!"

The lightning formed some sort of mirror to show Jaden Yuki.

"There he is!" Said Orochimaru, lustfully "That diamond in the rough!"

"THAT'S HIM?!" Screamed Chazz, losing traction, unknowingly "THAT'S THE CHUMP WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO…"

Chazz tripped up and began spinning around, getting electrocuted.

"Now, let us get him into a more…" Orochimaru stated, searching for the right words "Appropriate situation. What do YOU say, Chazz?"

Chazz was charred and dazed with his spikes on fire.

"Swell…" he wheezed before falling to the ground.

_**Please review!**_

_**TLSoulDude.**_


	6. Arrest

_Sorry if the fight scene's a stinker. I'm no great shakes at fight scenes, in Prince of Heart, it's my brother who edits the fights and makes them interesting. Everything else is mine._

Chapter 6: Arrest

Meanwhile, Jaden and his friends outran the angry mob.

"I still can't believe that JACK was stupid enough to pick that madman's pocket!" Shouted Kiba.

"Hey," replied Jack, coolly "We made it out alright, savvy?"

"Does he ALWAYS end his sentences like that?" Asked Alexis.

"Well, we don't have an autobiography or anything…" replied Sora "But, since we saved him from some guy named Davy Jones, he's said 'savvy'."

"That's the thing about Jack Sparrow." Said Jaden, still a bit love struck, but he didn't continue, seeing as Jack cut across him.

"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, if ye please." He replied. Alexis sighed. Everywhere she went, she seemed to end up with pirates.

"Well, I don't see your ship, captain." Alexis stated, exaggerating the word 'captain'.

"I was viciously mutinied upon!" Jack began, but Jaden interrupted.

"I take it that this is your first time in market?" Asked Jaden.

"I wanted to tell the story…" Murmured Jack.

"Am I THAT obvious?" Asked Alexis.

"You were acting like a turkey in a chicken coop." Replied Kiba "Yes, you WERE obvious."

THIS earned him a whack on the head with Sora's Keyblade.

"He wants her to himself." Whispered Sora to the dog kid "Understand?"  
"Yeah, sure." Murmured Kiba, massaging his head. Alexis, on the other hand, noticed Kiba and her eyes shot open.

"Kiba?!" She asked, surprised.

"Yeah, that's my name." He replied, confused "Why're ya asking?"

"Didn't you used to be a guard?" Alexis asked.

"Yes, I did." Replied Kiba, proudly "Was a friend of the princess, too. But, I didn't enjoy being bossed around by that oaf, Pete, and left."

Kiba jumped over a gap between street and building. RJ found a clothes wire and climbed across it, Jack jumped, and Sora and Kairi used their Keyblades to grab onto a ledge and then Sora heaved Kairi up. Jaden began blushing again as he got a pole and pole vaulted over to the next building.

"Still, ya gotta learn…" Jaden said, throwing the pole to Alexis, who caught it no problem.

"I'm a fast learner." She stated, smugly. She then pole vaulted over to where Jaden was.

"Uh…" Jaden stammered. THIS was the first time he met a girl he ACTUALLY liked "That's…good."

"Glad ya like it." Alexis replied.

Sora barely hid a snicker. He remembered having the same problems whenever he was around Kairi.

"Do you have any family?" Asked Alexis.

"Nope." Replied Jaden "Just me, Jack, RJ, Kiba, Sora, and Kairi."

"Actually," Kairi added "It was Kiba who brought us together. Amazing what an ex-guard can do. But, he let Jaden take command after we found Jack."

They then arrived back home.

"We've been meaning to tidy things up a bit." Jaden stated, giving a shaky laugh.

"What's he talkin' about?" Kiba asked under his breath.

"The mess doesn't bother ME much." Alexis said, smiling "At least things aren't exactly where they should be."

"There IS an upside to this." Jaden replied, going to a curtain "An excellent view."

Jaden pulled back the curtain to show the castle.

"Still the pearl in the city of Crossopolis…" said Kiba, dreamily.

"Livin' the dream." Replied Alexis, sarcastically.

"Just think about living there." Said Jaden "Having servants, valets…"

"Yeah, people telling you how to act and how to dress…" Alexis added sarcastically.

"Hey, at least it's not Hell on Earth." Sora replied.

"Aye, lads and lasses." Replied the pirate.

"HERE," said Jaden "We barely manage to scrape enough food for ourselves and having to outrun those guards is a daily routine."

"Not being able to make your own choices." Continued Alexis, oblivious to what Jaden said.

"Sometimes you just feel so…" Jaden said, but Alexis said something a second later.

"I'm just…"

"Trapped." The two said at the same time.

The two blushed. Sora, Kairi, and Kiba looked happy, but Jack looked confused and RJ looked…furious. Kiba jammed RJ into his jacket, where Akamaru started growling at him and Kairi slapped Jack.

"You have NO appreciation for romance, don't ya?" She demanded of the pirate.

"I win and break new hearts every other week." Replied the pirate.

"Pervert." Murmured Kairi, getting closer to Sora. Kiba then decided to break this uncomfortable subject by asking Alexis "So, where're you from? Sora and Kairi are from downtown, Jack's from the sea, I'm from the castle, and Jaden and RJ are from the lower levels of the cities."

"Does it matter?" Alexis asked "I ran away and I'm NOT going back."

"Why's that?" Asked Jaden, absent mindedly taking the apple that Jack was about to take a bite into "If…you don't mind."

"My 'dad' is forcing me to get married." She murmured "Not even my dad, but still, he's just marrying me off to get richer."

"WHOA!" Exclaimed Kiba.

"That's just…wrong." Sora said.

"He's gotta be a cheapskate." Kairi responded.

"I'm open if he's got plenty of loot." Jack said, hopefully. Kiba kicked him in the shin for that "I mean…didn't ya tell him you'd prefer to marry for love?"

"Yes," Alexis replied "But he didn't listen."

"I'd have to agree with Sora." Responded Jaden, but he saw RJ trying to take his apple and shouted "RJ!"

RJ backed away, squeaking angrily.

"What's HIS problem?" Asked Alexis, curiously.

"He said…" Jack tried to say, but Kiba continued.

"That that's not fair!"

Jaden mouthed something that was probably 'thanks, Kiba'.

"I'd tell her what he ACTUALLY said…" Jack stated "But, I'm curious as to where he heard such a word."

"Did he say that?" Alexis asked Jaden.

"Sure he did." Replied Jaden, seriously.

"What else?" Alexis asked, smiling

"He…uh…wanted to know if there's anything we can do to help." Jaden answered, feeling as if every motion made him look like an idiot.

"Tell RJ," replied Alexis "That that's just…sweet."

"Oh boy." Sora said, ducking down.

"Better give them some alone time." Kairi said.

"Ah, it we getting crowded anyway." Kiba said.

"Uh…mates?" Asked Jack "We've got some…"

"Shut up!" The three commanded.

Then, the two looked ready to kiss, but there was the sound of a blast.

"Jack?" Sora, Kairi, and Kiba asked Jack.

"I was going to tell ye that I saw those guards what enjoy attacking us." Jack recited "But, you three told me to shut…"

Jack never finished his sentence, seeing as the door was blown in by a blast. In the wreckage of the doorway, Marvin placed his blaster back into its holster.

"Well," the Martian stated "THAT sure was easy."

Behind Marvin were Pete and the Koopa Brothers. Hassleberry, apparently, was left out of this.

"Up…" Jack moaned, getting to his feet.

"Well," said Pete, gloating "Looks like we found yeh at last!"

"Hey, Pete!" Shouted Kiba.

"Well, if it ain't Kiba Inuzaki." Pete replied "Didn't expect ya to stoop THIS low."

"I could say the same thing." Replied Kiba, referring to the Koopa Brothers and Marvin.

"THEY'RE AFTER ME!" Jaden and Alexis exclaimed at the same time and asked each other at the same time "They're after YOU?!"

"Dad must've sent them to find me!" Alexis said, worried.

"Jaden!" Sora shouted "Take her, we'll hold 'em off!"

"Let's go, Akamaru!" Said Kiba, excited, taking his puppy out from his jacket "I call dibs on chubby!"

"I'll take the Martian!" Sora shouted, summoning the Ultima Weapon (KHII style, I prefer that one).

"I'll help!" Kairi replied, summoning her flowery Keyblade.

"Looks like I've got the three turtles." Jack stated, drawing his sword "Throw 'em overboard!"

"Alright, dudes!" Shouted the Red Koopa Brother "Time for our special technique!"

The four turtles got on each other's backs and began spinning.

"Let's get 'em, dudes!" Shouted the red Koopa Brother. They span off and Jack managed to evade them.

"Freeze, Earthlings!" Shouted Marvin, firing his blaster at Sora, but Kairi blocked with her Keyblade.

"Thanks!" Sora said.

"Any time!" Replied Kairi, throwing her Keyblade and knocking the alien off balance. Sora then went into Sonic Blade and took off after him.

"Bring it on, dog boy!" Pete challenged.

"Akamaru, NOW!" Shouted Kiba. Akamaru turned into an exact replica of him and they began punching the cat into next year.

With Alexis and Jaden, they were running through the house.

"Are ya sure it was safe to leave your friends with them?" Asked Alexis.

"Don't worry!" Jaden replied "They can take care of themselves JUST fine!"

Jaden then realized what he said and turned around immediately. "What am I saying?! I've gotta help my friends!"

Jaden wheeled around to find an explosive ball, which sent him flying.

"RJ!" Shouted Jaden, after being slammed into the wall "We're gonna need some help!"

"Yes, sir!" Said RJ in his own language before getting a slingshot. He picked up various things from empty Spuddies containers to broken pottery and fired them at the cat and his crew. The Green Koopa Brother then pulled himself into his shell and knocked RJ into a wall and got buried by junk. Meanwhile, Marvin had Sora and Kairi inside some container, the Koopa Brothers had Jack in a dog pile, and Pete had Kiba and Akamaru in one arm. He strode over and grabbed Jaden by the collar of his shirt. THIS was too much for Alexis.

"Let them GO!" She commanded, trying to pry Jaden from the cat's grip.

"Lookie here, guys!" Pete cackled, knocking Alexis aside "A thief LADY!"

"Unhand them!" Alexis commanded, again, removing her hood "By order of the princess!"

The five saw her face, looked fearful, and bowed.

"Princess Alexis!" Pete said.

"Hold the phone…" Kiba said.

"What?!" Shouted Sora and Kairi.

"That's interesting." Jack said, even though he had three Koopas on his back.

"The Princess?!" Jaden asked.

"The Princess?!" Said RJ in his own language. Pete then stood up and walked over to Alexis.

"What're you doing out of the palace and with these…" Pete stammered, trying to find the right words "Thieves, pirate, and EX-guard."

"That doesn't concern you, Pete." Replied Alexis, coldly "Just let them go."

"Wish we could, dudette!" Replied the Yellow Koopa Brother "But our orders come from Lord Orochimaru! Ask 'im yourself!"

Alexis walked over to Yellow and flicked him on the forehead before replying "You bet I will!"

Later, in the palace, Alexis walked through back in her usual garbs. Orochimaru and Chazz were leaving the room.

"Orochimaru!" Alexis shouted.

"Oh, princess." Replied Orochimaru, Chazz was humming Trigger Happy by Weird Al, but got caught in the doorway.

"OW! Orochimaru…I'm in PAIN!" He moaned, but the snake man wasn't listening.

"How may I be of service to you?" Asked Orochimaru.

"The guards arrested a boy and his four friends, one of which was Kiba Inazaki, on YOUR orders!" Alexis stated, coldly.

"Well, Mr. Krabs was too busy counting his money, so I took it to try and find you. A loyal citizen told me where you were going, so I told Pete. Besides, the boy and his friends were criminals." Stated Orochimaru, grinning.

"What're you talking about? What crime?!" Demanded Alexis.

"Seriously, Orochimaru!" Wheezed Chazz "I'm gonna DIE here!"

"Kidnapping the princess, of course." Lied Orochimaru.

"Orochimaru!" Chazz gasped, turning blue "I'M REALLY GONNA DIE HERE!" Orochimaru kicked the door and Chazz flew through and apparently broke something…not a bone "I sure hope that the vase wasn't THAT expensive…"

"They did NOT kidnap me!" Alexis shouted "I ran away!"

"Well, that was MY mistake." Replied Orochimaru, coolly.

"So, RELEASE them." Commanded the princess.

"Sorry," Orochimaru replied "But I have already decided on their sentence."

"What?" Asked Alexis, fearing the worst.

"Death." Stated Orochimaru "By the gallows."

"No…" Alexis whispered before running away. Chazz came through the door, trying to repair some vase.

"How'd she take it?" Asked Mr. Princeton.

"I'm guessing…" Orochimaru sneered "Rather well."

Alexis was running through the palace, tears falling from her eyes, and she ran into Hassleberry.

"Oh, hey Lexi." Greeted Hassleberry. Alexis grabbed him around the midsection "Did I miss somethin'?"

"It's MY fault, Hassleberry." She wept "I didn't even know his name. Now FIVE innocent people are going to die."

"Uh…" Hassleberry said, awkwardly, not knowing what Alexis was talking about, but returned the embrace and tried, uneasily, to comfort her.

_Please review._

_TLSoulDude._


	7. The Snake of Wonders

**Chapter 6: The Snake of Wonders**

**Jaden and the rest had hit rock bottom. Cuffed to a wall and the prospects of a short drop and sudden stop to look forward to.**

"**Well," said Sora, sadly "I never thought we'd end up here because of…"**

"**I can't believe I NEVER recognized her!" Kiba scolded himself "I saw her a MILLION times when I was still a guard!"**

"**You think YOU have problems, Kiba?" Asked Kairi "What about Jaden?"**

**Jack was chained next to Jaden.**

"**Sorry I got you guys into this mess." Jaden apologized "I bet I sounded like a complete idiot to her."**

"**If we survive this," Jack said "Better find yerself another girl, mate. Savvy?"**

"**Jack stop it." Scolded Kairi. There was suddenly a squeaking and Jack perked up.**

"**I know that Bruce Willis voice ANYWHERE!" He exclaimed and they saw RJ.**

"**RJ!" Jaden whispered, excitedly "Down here."**

**RJ clambered down and got a paper clip out from his golf bag, but hesitated.**

"**Jaden, my man…" RJ said, but slipped back into his own language. However, he did do some goo-goo eyes.**

"**Alright, you were right, I was wrong." Replied Jaden "But, we won't be seeing her again. So, get us outta here."**

**RJ used the paper clip to unlock Jaden's cuffs. Jaden took the clip and picked Jack free. Jaden let Kiba out and freed Sora. Sora summoned his Keyblade and cut Kairi's chains.**

"**Thanks, Sora." Kairi thanked.**

"**Sorry, guys." Jaden apologized again "I must've been an idiot."**

"**Only an idiot gives up." Said someone. RJ scurried into Kiba's jacket and the animal ninja looked VERY uncomfortable. The rest turned to see a creepy old man with no hair but a considerable amount of beard.**

"**Who the heck are YOU?" Kiba demanded, trying to keep Akamaru and RJ from trying to kill each other.**

"**Just a lonely old prisoner, like the rest of you." The old man answered "But together, perhaps we could be MORE!"**

"**I'm all ears, dude." Replied Jaden, mildly interested.**

"**You see, young ones, there is a cave. Guarded by a giant snake." Said the old man "A cave of WONDERS! With treasure beyond your wildest dreams!"**

**The old man held out a withered hand to show a handful of rubies. All of them looked on it with awe, but RJ and Jack seemed a bit more enticed than the others.**

"**Those seem like a bit many rubies for you to carry, sir. Maybe I can…" Jack tried taking a few of the rubies, but they vanished into thin air.**

"**It just might be enough to impress the princess, wouldn't it?" Asked the old man.**

**Strangely, Chazz Princeton was inside it.**

"**Could you hurry it up, Orochimaru?!" Demanded the rich kid "I'm DYING of heatstroke!"**

**The old man, who was really Orochimaru in disguise, elbowed Chazz back into it.**

"**Well, it COULD…" Jaden stated, impressed, but his face then fell "But, the law states that…"**

"**Obviously, you are unfamiliar with the golden rule—whoever has the gold makes the rules!" The old man interrupted, grinning and showing several golden and crooked teeth.**

"**Ew…" Sora said, sickened "A trip to the orthodontist wouldn't kill ya."**

"**But ME?" Jaden asked "There must have been hundreds of people here before us, so why'd you pick US?"**

**The old man wandered behind Jaden and first lobbed him in the back then whacked his calf "I need good warriors with strong backs and good legs."**

"**That counts out Jack." Murmured Kiba. He and the pirate had a few…issues with each other.**

"**Well, I guess we're in, scalawags." Jack proclaimed and then whispered to the old man "Where are the rubies?"**

"**Hold your new bank account, Jack." Said Jaden "The cave's out THERE, we're in HERE."**

"**Ah, but things are not always as they appear!" The old man said, pressing a brick and a passageway appeared out of nowhere "Do we have a deal?"**

"**Why not?" RJ asked.**

"**Deal." Said Jaden "If it'll get me and my friends out."**

"**Good!" The old man cackled "Then, let us make haste!"**

**They then had their long trek through the desert, where sand was blowing everywhere. The disguised Orochimaru used the same statue to summon forth Manda as when he did before. Jaden walked ahead, followed by Jack (he was most enthusiastic), then Kairi, then Sora, then Kiba, and RJ hid in Jaden's hair.**

"**Who dares disturb my slumber?!" Manda demanded of them.**

"**Uh…" Jaden said, not knowing what to say "It is I, Jaden Yuki?"**

**Manda observed them with his eyes before saying "Proceed. Remember this—touch NOTHING but the lamp or YOU SHALL PERISH!"**

"**Well, given THAT alternative…" Jack mumbled.**

**They walked in and saw an entire room filled with gold.**

"**Wow…" they all said.**

"**Just a handful of this stuff will make us richer than Mr. Krabs!" Jaden exclaimed.**

"**And it's all OURS for the taking!" Jack said, excitedly, and began to run for the gold. If it weren't for Sora's Keyblade, he would've touched some.**

"**Remember what the snake said!" Sora reminded the pirate "Touch NOTHING but the lamp, or we will ALL, including YOU, Jack Sparrow, DIE."**

"**CAPTAIN." Jack murmured under his breath.**

**Kairi saw a certain yellow, striped 2008 Camarro.**

"**Whoa…fancy." Was all she could say. When RJ began to pass, it changed into a fifteen-foot tall robot. It then followed him and, when the raccoon turned around, changed back into the car mode.**

"**Weird." RJ said before continuing. The robot then continued harassing RJ whenever he had his back turned and every time RJ turned around, the robot would turn back into a Camarro. You get what's going on. Then, the robot tapped RJ on the shoulder, he screamed, and grabbed Jaden's head.**

"**RJ?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Jaden demanded of the raccoon "We ALL wanna get out of here, but we've gotta get that lamp first!"**

**Jaden grabbed RJ and tossed him on the ground. The robot then snuck around the raccoon and took his golf sack. He turned to see the robot, they both screamed, and RJ grabbed Jaden's face and forced him to look at the robot.**

"**How'd IT get down here?" Jaden asked and Kairi noticed the painted areas.**

"**It was that Camarro?!" She asked.**

"**So, this is a transformer?" Asked Sora. Jaden then walked up to the robot.**

"**Can you talk?" Jaden asked. When the robot answered, various voices spoke, as if it were changing channels.**

"_**XM Satellite Radio…digital cable presents…Columbia Broadcasting system.**_**"**

"**So, you talk through the radio?" Asked Jaden. The robot then started clapping.**

"_**Thank you, you're beautiful. You're WONDERFUL, you're wonderful.**_**"**

"**Do you have a name?" Asked Jaden. The robot answered in a voice similar to Gonzo the Great from the Muppet Show.**

"_**I will NOW eat a tire to the tune Flight of the Bumblebee!**_**"**

"**Is it Bumblebee?" Asked Jaden. Bumblebee responded in a voice that resembled Hades.**

"_**You are correct, sir!**_**"**

"**Can ya help us?" Asked Kiba. Bumblebee "snapped" his fingers before changing back into a Camarro.**

"_**Anymore questions ya wanna ask?**_**" Asked Bumblebee.**

"**All aboard!" Jaden said "I'm driving!"**

**They tore through the cave of wonders inside their new ride. Akamaru had his head out the window, allowing his ears to flop around in the wind. They then came to a stop around a small cliff. Jaden got out the driver's seat and sighed and patted Bumblebee's hood.**

"**You're one good driver, Bumblebee." He said, affectionately "Now, I'll go and get this lamp!"**

**Jaden started ascending the cliff. RJ then noticed a large egg inside a coiled fox, which looked pretty vicious.**

"**No, RJ." Jack said to the raccoon, not noticing the jewel "You are NOT to touch anything but…"**

**He then noticed the jewel and his eyes bulged. Unknowing to the happenings below, Jaden picked up the oil lamp, which resembled the one Sonic had.**

"**This is it?" Jaden asked himself "We came all this way for…"**

**Jaden glanced back to see RJ and Jack running for the jewel.**

"**GUYS! NO!"**

**Too late, RJ already took a hold of the jewel.**

"**INFIDELS!" Screamed the voice of Manda.**

"**Oh, PLEASE don't tell me they did what I thought they did." Kiba murmured to himself.**

"**Well, they did." Replied Sora, flatly.**

"**YOU WERE INSTRUCTED NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING BUT THE LAMP!" Roared Manda "NOW YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!!"**

**RJ placed the jewel back, but it melted into lava.**

"_**Mama mia!**_**" Bumblebee shouted in a voice similar to a certain green plumber.**

"**Let's get outta here!" Jaden shouted "Everyone in Bumblebee!"**

**They all got into Bumblebee the moment he changed back into a Camarro. He then took out, just outrunning the lava flow. RJ was so freaked out that he grabbed onto Jaden's face.**

"**RJ!" Jaden exclaimed, trying to claw the raccoon off "RJ! This is NO time to panic!"**

**He then saw that they seemed to be headed towards a wall of solid rock.**

"**Can we panic now?" Asked Jack.**

"**Yes." Replied Jaden "Feel free."**

**Bumblebee made a sharp turn and they were making it to the entrance. Kiba jumped out and used chakra to cling to the wall, only to get grabbed by Jack. He screamed in pain, which was made worse by the fact that Akamaru got onto his shoulder. Bumblebee transformed and grabbed the ledge, Sora and Kairi used their Keyblades, and Jaden also grabbed the ledge. They saw Orochimaru at the entrance, still disguised as an old man.**

"**The lamp!" He demanded.**

"**I can't hold on!" Jaden groaned, thrusting out his hand "Gimme your hand!"**

"**First, give ME the lamp!"**

**Jaden barely managed to hand the old man the lamp. He grabbed it in triumph.**

**"YES! AT LAST!"**

**The old man then held out a jagged-looking dagger and held it, threateningly, to Jaden's hand.**

**"What are ya, nuts?!" Jaden demanded of the old man "What're ya doing?!"**

**"Giving you your reward!" Replied the old man, who then slipped into Orochimaru's voice "Your ETERNAL reward!"**

**Things looked bleak for Jaden and co., but RJ jumped out and bit Orochimaru on the hand, causing him to scream in pain. Orochimaru then grabbed RJ and threw him into Jaden's face, causing him to fall. Bumblebee noticed this and jumped after him, but his foot dislodged Sora and Kairi's Keyblades. Jaden grabbed onto Jack's foot, causing too much strain for Kiba. They all fell down as Manda caused the cave to collapse. Orochimaru was thrown back into the sand and cackled, madly.**

**"It's MINE!" He proclaimed "It's ALL mine…"**

**He searched for the lamp to find…nothing.**

**"Where is it?!" He asked to no one in particular "No. NO!"**

**Chazz got out of his cloak, gasping for breath and was sweating like crazy.**

**"Hey, what'd I miss?" He asked, Orochimaru growled at this stupid question.**

**Back in the palace, Mr. Krabs skittered into Alexis' room, where she was sobbing into Red XIII's fur.**

**"There, there." Said the fire cat "It's alright."**

**"What's wrong, Lexi?" Asked Mr. Krabs.**

**"Orochimaru…" Alexis wept "Did something…awful."**

**"Uh…" Mr. Krabs said, lost for words "Why don't ye tell me about it?"**

_**Please review!**_

_**TLSoulDude.**_


	8. Shrapnel

Chapter 8: Shrapnel

Jaden groaned as he heaved himself up. He saw that they all seemed to be awake, but decided to ask anyway.

"How is everyone?"

"Well," replied Kiba "No one's fatally injured, if THAT'S what you mean. Just a bit shaken up."

"Shaken up?!" Jack shouted, with RJ on his hat "I haven't been in THIS much pain since I was turned into an immortal ghost by that cursed Aztec gold!"

Jaden decided to ignore this and had RJ climb back onto his shoulder.

"Well," said Jaden "At least that loon's got the lamp now. It's not OUR problem anymore."

"Save the fact that we're buried a couple hundred feet below the earth's surface." Sora added.

"Besides that." Jaden corrected himself.

"You underestimate the power of the amazing RJ!" RJ announced, proudly, but everyone except Jack heard was squeaking. He decided to hold out something he took just moments before they passed out—the lamp.

"RJ." Jaden chuckled "You lousy, little thief."

"He'd make a fine pirate, he would." Jack said "If he were human, that is."

Kiba kicked the sand on the ground.

"Well, things got worse in a short space of time." He said "First, we get fooled by that princess, next we get arrested, now buried."

"All this hassle just for a hunk of junk?" Jaden asked no one in particular. He then noticed something "I think…there's something written here…I just need to make it out."

Jaden rubbed the lamp and it immediately began sputtering. It shot out a burst of dark blue smoke, which formed a figure with spiky hair.

"HOY!" The figure shouted, showing that it was apparently male, with spiky black hair, brown eyes, a black jacket over a navy shirt with a yellow smily face that had large X's for eyes and a hole through its forehead and a few straps of leather over the chest, a midnight blue stream that came from the lamp, and a pair of gun holsters where his legs should've been. "A grand total of a thousand years…" the being continued in a somewhat nasally, cool-guy voice, as he stretched his arms "Can give ya a crick in the neck that hurts like crazy! Hang on a second…"

He hung Jaden onto a ledge of rock and twisted himself around, whooping. "MAN! It feels good to get outta there!" He then took out two revolvers and shot in no particular direction, narrowly missing Jaden's friends.

"WHOA!" Shouted Sora "Are you trigger happy or somethin'?!"

"Yes, I am." Replied the being "And WHO is the lucky guy who freed me from that lousy lamp?"

Jaden fell to the ground with a soft thump.

"I did." He said, pulling himself to his feet "The name's Jaden."

"Ladies and gentlemen!" The being shouted, in a game show host's suit "Today's winner is…JADEN! Can I call ya Jay, or Den, or how about…" He suddenly gave himself a panda-bear ear hair do "Denden?!" He then exploded and started laughing like crazy. Jaden was looked…just plain freaked.

"Must've hit my head a bit harder than I thought…" He said to himself.

"Same here." Replied Sora, flatly, as the being turned into Ghost Rider and tore around the stage, before grabbing Jaden by the scruff of the neck.

"Look into my eyes!" He commanded, then he held out a ticket "Do you validate?"

He changed back, laughing like a lunatic again, freaking out RJ.

"Sorry for freakin' out the coon." He murmured, then noticed Bumblebee "BUMBLEBEE! Haven't seen you in…FOREVER! Lay some steel on me!"

Bumblebee gave him an up top and down low. The being then noticed Jaden.

"Well, you're certainly smaller than my LAST master." He said "That or I'm gettin' bigger. Hey, I AM a growing boy!"

"Wait, hold it…" Jaden said, waving his hands to slow down the being "I'm…your MASTER?"

"Yup." Replied the being, slapping on a graduation cap on Jaden's head and thrusting a diploma into his hand "IT CAN BE TAUGHT! What will you wish for from…"

The being then went into a long introduction.

"The EVER IMPRESSIVE…" He turned into a version of Nicholas Cage. He then became trapped in a small cube "The long contained…" He squeaked, he then broke free and began flexing his muscles "The ever-so SEXY!" There was a wolf whistle. He then turned into a Ventriloquist Dummy "Often imitated…" There was then an explosion and then a neon sign appeared "Shrapnel! The genie of the lamp! S-H-R-A-P-N-E-L! Got it memorized?"

"Isn't that line taken?" Kiba asked. Shrapnel growled.

"If I hadn't sworn on my mother's deathbed…" He mumbled, but then turned into Ed Sullivan "Really big shoe! REALLY big! Right here from the lamp for your personal wish fulfillment!"

"Wish fulfillment?!" Jaden shouted.

"Yup, THREE wishes!" Shrapnel explained "And Ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes."

"But you guys always say that it was a joke." Said Kairi, confused.

"Well, ya see that JOKE is a joke." Replied Shrapnel, turning into Johnny Depp "And, if ya thought that any other joke was a joke, that is a joke, too. Savvy?"

"Hey, isn't that MY line?!" Jack demanded as Shrapnel changed back.

"Well, NOW I know I'm dreaming." Jaden said to himself.

"Boss," replied Shrapnel "THIS is a once-in-a-lifetime deal! How's 'bout I show ya the possibilities!"

Shrapnel: _Who gave Davy Jones the Flying Dutchman, who gave Ghost Rider his cool bike? But, boss, you're in luck. 'Cause up yer jacket sleeves, I'll give you wishes that you will like!_

Shrapnel caused several members of the Flying Dutchman to appear, freaking out Jack. He then popped out of Jaden's shirt and began pummeling the seamen.

Shrapnel: _Ya've got some power in your corner now, some heavy ammunition in your pack! Ya've got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo, and see all ya gotta do is rub dat lamp, and I'll say!_

There was a scene similar to a boxing arena. Jaden had gloves, Shrapnel was massaging him, and Kiba and Sora were fanning him. Jack was in the other corner, looking confused. Shrapnel then exploded and the scene changed to a scene at a restaurant.

Shrapnel: _Mister Jaden, sir, what'll your desire be? Life's your restaurant, I'm your maitre 'd. You ain't never got a friend like ME!_

Jaden then found himself on a golden chair. Kiba and Sora were waving palm branches, Kairi was feeding him grapes, RJ was at his lap, Bumblebee was dancing, Jack was washing his feet (to his displeasure), and Shrapnel fills the room with various pastries. Then Jaden was on top of a giant letter A and a ton of food piled up.

Shrapnel: _Have some from column A!_

Jaden fell from pile "A" and landed on another pile with a large "B" on it.

Shrapnel: _Try all of column B!_

Jaden fell from the pile and landed on a pillow from Shrapnel.

Shrapnel: _I'm in the mood to help ya, dude! Ya ain't NEVER got a friend like me!_

Shrapnel opened his mouth and a staircase appeared from his tongue. A miniature Shrapnel appeared and did a dance with two giant versions of his hands. They smacked him into nothingness. Shrapnel then appeared, juggling his severed head (no blood).

Shrapnel: _Can your friends do THIS?_

Shrapnel's head then became multiples and he continued juggling them.

Shrapnel: _Can your friends do THAT?_

Shrapnel then tossed them to Jaden, who began juggling, no problem.

Shrapnel: _Can your friend pull THAT?_

Shrapnel then pulled rabbit versions RJ, Kiba, Sora, Kairi, and Jack out of a large, white and red striped hat that belonged to a certain cat.

Shrapnel: _Right out of Cat's HAT!_

Everyone changed back, looking disoriented.

Shrapnel: _Can your friends go POOF?!_

Shrapnel did a Fireball Jutsu, usually found in the Uchiha Clan, and the fireball turned into three hot girls.

Shrapnel: _Well Looky here! Ha, ha. Can your friends go abracadabra, LETTERRIP! And then make the sucker disappear? Don't just sit there, slack-jawed BUGGY-EYED! I'm here to help ya face all your fears!_

Shrapnel stared at Jaden and dropped his jaw and his eyes bulged out. He then vanished and jumped off a large diving board that was actually Jaden's hands.

Shrapnel: _You've got me bona-fied, certified, yeah, and charged with genie affairs!_

Shrapnel turned into a large contract, wrapped around Jaden, and unraveled, causing Jaden to spin out of control until he stopped him.

Shrapnel: _I've got the power to help you out, so what you wish is what I really wanna know. You've got a list three miles long, and all you have to do is shout 'yo'! Master Jaden, HAVE A WISH OR TWO OR THREE! I'm on the job, you big nabob! You ain't NEVER had a friend…NEVER had a friend…_

Shrapnel caused several things to appear—from food to gold.

Shrapnel: _Ain't NEVER…had a…FRIEND LIKE ME!_

Everyone was enjoying the things Shrapnel caused to appear.

Shrapnel: _Ain't never had a friend like me!_

There was a flashing neon sign that said 'applause', but only Bumblebee was clapping.

"_Encore! Encore! Encore!_" He shouted, using a crowd's voice.

Everyone was trying to get to their senses. Jack checked his pockets for gold, but just found his usual items.

"That's disappointing." He mumbled to himself.

"Yup, now I know." Jaden said "I'm dreaming FOR SURE."

"Now," Shrapnel said, getting to business "What'll your wishes be, master?"

"Lemme get this straight, Shrapnel." Jaden replied, confused "Basically, I wish for ANYTHING and you grant it?"

Shrapnel then turned into a version of Mr. Alfred from Batman.

"Not QUITE, Master Jaden." He replied, counting several fingers "There are a few provisos and a few quid-pro-quos."

"Such as…?" Asked Sora. Shrapnel flew over to Jaden.

"Rule number one, I can't kill anybody." Shrapnel said, pointing a gun to his head and blowing a hold through it "SEE?! Rule number two…" He patched up the hole and took up a romantic pose and voice "I can't make people fall in love at first sight." He kissed Jaden, who looked freaked "Ya little cheeky thing!" He then bolted down "RULE NUMBER THREE!" He then came up with an eerie green look and with slime clinging to him "I can't bring people back from the dead! It's not a pretty picture. I DON'T LIKE DOING IT!"

Shrapnel then changed back and bowed.

"Other than THAT, it's YOUR call!" He said.

"Provisos?" Asked Jaden.

"I think he means limitations." Replied Kairi.

"On WISHES?!" Jaden asked, scoffing "Some all powerful genie." Shrapnel glowered up from his bow "Can't even bring people back from the dead."

"Oh well, guys." Kiba continued "Guess we won't get out of this cave. We'll probably have a way out ourselves."

Shrapnel stomped a foot, now gigantic.

"Excuse me?!" Demanded the lunatic "You lookin' at ME?! Did ya rub the lamp, did you bring me into this pit, you lousy #&!" Shrapnel swore loudly, not noticing their looks of happiness "And all of a sudden, the ENTIRE peanut gallery is walkin' out on me?! I don't think so! Not in THIS lifetime! YOU'RE GETTIN' YOUR WISHES, SO SIT DOWN!" Shrapnel shrank back to his normal size and they got blasted out and landed in Bumblebee's Camarro form.

"Now, in case of emergencies," he recited, growing extra arms as he said 'here' "Emergency exits are here, here, here, here, here, ANYWHERE!" The extra arms vanished and all of Shrapnel's arms, except the hands, vanished "Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times! 'CAUSE WE'RE OUTTA HERE!"

The car then zipped away into the distance.

_Please review!_

_TLSoulDude._


	9. Planning

**Chapter 9: Planning**

**Mr. Krabs skittered into a room with Alexis. In the room were only Orochimaru and Chazz Princeton.**

**"Orochimaru and friend!" Mr. Krabs shouted, the two pale guys walked forward "What be the meanin' of this?!"**

**"What is the meaning of what?" Asked Chazz, they simply ignored him.**

**"Both of you know that, after years of serving the Krabs and Rhodes that NEITHER of ye are to pronounce the death sentence on ANYONE without me permission!" Mr. Krabs shouted at the two. Orochimaru bowed.**

**"Most sorry, your majesty." The snake man replied "It will NOT happen again. Mr. Krabs' temper immediately subsided.**

**"Well, if THAT'S the case, let's just put it aside."**

**Orochimaru took Alexis' hand and the princess looked…pretty revolted.**

**"You have my…sincerest apologies."**

**"ONE good thing comes out of my arranged marriage." Alexis spat, wrenching her hand from Orochimaru's grasp "When I'm queen, I can get rid of YOU. BOTH of you!"**

**Alexis turned and left. Mr. Krabs sighed in exasperation.**

**"Will this never end?" He asked himself before skittering after her, he then turned around and shoved a Krabby Patty down Chazz's throat "Here, another one on the house."**

**When Mr. Krabs left, Orochimaru did the Heimlich Maneuver on Chazz, causing him to spit out the Krabby Patty.**

**"You know how much I hate that…" Choked Chazz, Orochimaru simply grinned.**

**"Yes." He replied, simply, but then growled "If I had JUST GOTTEN A HOLD OF THAT LAMP…"**

**"**_**I can get rid of YOU. BOTH of you!**_**" Chazz said, mocking Alexis before roaring "I still can't believe we have to kiss up to that cheapskate crab who calls himself king AND that lousy tomboy for the rest of our stinking lives!"**

**"Not quite, Mr. Princeton." Replied Orochimaru, darkly "If she DOES get married to that chump husband, she'll have us BANISHED! Or worse…force us to move in with all the lunatics TLSoulDude came up with. Crescent, Carcharodon…"**

**"Yeah, that WOULD be a nightmare." Agreed Chazz, but a light bulb appeared over his head, which he instantly smashed "Hey, Mr. O, I had an idea! What if YOU were that 'chump husband'?"**

**"What was that?!" Demanded Orochimaru.**

**"Put the maiming me on hold and listen!" Chazz said, getting excited "Say YOU get married to Alexis and become king of Crossopolis."**

**"Hmm…" Orochimaru thought "Marry the tomboy and become king? That DOES have credit. Go on."**

**"Okay!" Chazz said, using the Armed Changer card. He grabbed his eyes and pulled them up to resemble Mr. Krabs' "And THEN, we drop ol' poppa-in-law," he put his eyes back and made himself look more like Alexis "And the little woman off a cliff!" Jack then climbed the wall and jumped "AARRGGHH! Ker-SPLAT!" He landed, face-first, into the carpet. Orochimaru cackled at this.**

**"I love it when your mind ACTUALLY works, Princeton." He complimented "And when you hurt yourself."**

**Meanwhile, with our heroes, they were zipping towards an oasis, with Shrapnel dressed like a limousine driver.**

**"Thank you for choosing Bumblebee Taxi service." He stated, proudly "Please refrain from moving until we reach our destination."**

**They stopped and they began to unload.**

**"Bye, bye, bye, goodbye. Bye!" Shrapnel said, then zipping back to his normal form "Well, did THAT teach ya somethin', Mr.'s and Ms. Doubting Thomas!"**

**"Boy, ya sure showed us." Replied Jaden, sarcastically "Now, what about my three wishes?"  
"THREE?!" Shrapnel exclaimed, showing Jaden a finger "You are down by ONE, boy!"**

**"Oh, I didn't WISH us out of the cave!" Jaden replied, moving Shrapnel's finger out of the way.**

**"Yeah, you did THAT on your own!" Kairi giggled. Shrapnel's mouth dropped like a stone and he turned into a sheep.**

**"Boy, do I feel sheepish." He mumbled, before turning to Jaden "Alright, you baaaaad boy! But no more freebies!"**

**"Alright, THREE wishes?" Jaden asked himself "And they've gotta be good…"**

**"If I had that lamp," said Jack "I'd have my three wishes. A bottomless bottle of rum, the Black Pearl back in my possession, and a couple lady friends…not TECHINCALLY asking for falling in love." Kairi slapped him because of that.**

**"Remember, Jaden." Kiba stated to his friend "If they're BIG wishes, WE have to be included in them."**

**"He's got a point, Jay." Sora agreed "We've helped YOU out of plenty of tight spots before."**

**"Deal, guys." Jaden replied. He then groaned again "Never thought that making wishes would be so hard. What would YOU wish for, Shrapnel?"**

**Shrapnel looked dramatic, but sighed before answering, simply "Freedom."**

**Kairi picked up the lamp and looked at it with pity.**

**"You're a prisoner?" She asked.**

**"It comes with the job." Shrapnel replied. He then became extremely large and his voice echoed "PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!!" He then returned to the lamp, looking cramped, and spoke in a high, squeaky voice "Itty-bitty living space."**

**Jaden took the lamp "Shrapnel, that's terrible."**

**"I'd hate THAT gig." Jack agreed "I prefer freedom."**

**"Some people have all the luck." Shrapnel murmured before coming out of his lamp "But, oh, to be FREE! Not having to go POOF! What do ya need? POOF! What do ya need? POOF! What do ya need?!"**

**Bumblebee made some electronic noises in agreement. Shrapnel then began to float into the air. "Being free would be better than all the wishes in all the world!" Shrapnel said, dreamily, but then came back down to the earth "Ah, but who am I kiddin'? I've been wantin' that wish to be granted for untold millennia and I got the same results as people wanting Megaman in Smash Bros. Brawl—zilch." As if to emphasize his point, Shrapnel put his fingers into an O formation with all other fingers staying out.**

**"Well, I could do it." Jaden replied, smiling "I'll set ya free."**

**"Uh-huh." Grumbled Shrapnel, turning into Pinocchio "Sure, ya will." His nose then grew, but Jaden forced it back into his face.**

**"Seriously." Jaden said, being serious "I'll use my first two wishes, then set ya free."**

**"Really?!" Shrapnel asked, grinning insanely "Then," he turned into some travesty of Optimus Prime "Let's Roll OUT!" All of his guns fell out of his jacket. The number was surprising, considering his jacket size. They all then poofed out of existence. Jaden struggled for words.**

**"Well, ya see…" Jaden stammered, Sora grinned. He knew what was coming "There's this…girl."**

**Shrapnel made a bleeping noise and made his body become a large 'X' "WRONG! I can't make people fall in love, remember?! If I did so, the entire WORLD would sink into chaos!"**

**"How would it sink into chaos?" Kiba asked, mildly interested.**

**"I'm not entirely sure…" Shrapnel replied, voice trailing off.**

**"But, Shrapnel, she's…" Jaden continued, trying to find the right words to describe Alexis "Smart and fun and…"**

**"**_**Pretty as a picture.**_**" Bumblebee stated in a Scottish accent.**

**"Beautiful!" Jaden said, not listening to Bumblebee.**

**"Go on." Shrapnel egged, wanting to hear more.**

**"Well, she's got this hair, like gold." Jaden said, taking Shrapnel's advice "Eyes JUST the same and…wow. Her smile…"**

**"Yup." Jack stated "He hasn't heeded my advice to find another girl."**

**"Jack." Sora and Kairi growled, Sora said the next sentence "Just because YOU have the romantic knowledge of a chick pea doesn't mean everyone ELSE does."**

**Shrapnel and Jaden didn't listen, seeing as Jaden wandered off.**

**"But, she's the princess!" He said, becoming a bit melancholy "The only chance I'd have would be…" Jaden paused, then an idea struck him "Could you make ME a prince? Preferably one with those blue uniforms."**

**Shrapnel opened a book labeled Royal Recipes "Let's see…Chicken Ala King…" He pulled out a chicken with a crown "Nope. Alaskan King Crab…" Sebastian from the Little Mermaid pinched his finger and he flung it away "Caesar Salad…" He got a wreath and someone stabbed him. He pulled out the knife and the wound went into sped-up coagulation, healing up quickly "THAT hurt…aha…To Make an Obelisk Blue…" Everyone stared at him, except Kiba.**

**"Obelisk Blue is the highest-rank of royalty you can get." He mumbled "You're an ex-guard, ya know things."**

**"Now, is THAT an official wish?" Shrapnel asked Jaden "Say the magic words!"**

**"Shrapnel," Jaden announced "I want YOU to make me an Obelisk Blue!"**

**"OH YEAH!" Shrapnel shouted, he then turned into Homer Simpson "Woo-hoo!" **

**He then pulled Jaden into a fashion designer store.**

**"Alright, LET'S get to business!" Shrapnel said, getting glasses "Black jackets…good for the motorcycle convention, but NOT good for princes! Same for the red jacket, ya looked like ya killed someone!" Shrapnel then tapped Jaden's jacket, which changed into a white blazer with blue linings "MUCH better!"**

**"What about us?" Sora demanded of Shrapnel.**

**"Yeah, why can't WE get some cool garbs?" Asked Kairi.**

**"Just make MINE something high-class, too." Jack inserted.**

**"We can get some, right Jay?" Asked Kiba.**

**"Sure, guys!" Jaden said to Sora, then said to Shrapnel "Do a number on THEM, too, they ARE my best friends!"**

**"On it!" Shrapnel replied. He zapped the four and, a moment later, Kiba had a blue blazer with white linings, Akamaru in his shirt.**

**"This ISN'T gonna work out, Akamaru!" Kiba groaned, taking Akamaru into his arms.**

**Sora and Kairi had yellow blazers with white linings. Jack, on the other hand, had a red blazer with white linings.**

**"This looks impressive." Jack said to himself. Kiba snickered. The blazer HE had belonged to Slifer Red, the lowest ranking form of royalty.**

**"You're gonna need somethin' BESIDES a stylish Camarro though, no offense to Bumblebee." Shrapnel murmured to himself, he then turned to RJ "Hey, raccoon!" He whistled "Here, RJ!" RJ ran over with a confused look.**

**"So, Jay," Shrapnel said "What'll be your grand debut in Crossopolis? A camel? Careful, they spit." As he said this, he turned RJ into a camel "Horse? Nah. Not enough for five people." He changed RJ into a horse and went through several choices before saying "I've GOT IT! HERE'S ONE BIG BLAST FROM THE PAST!" He blasted RJ, who increased in size before becoming a large dinosaur—Apatosaurus to be precise "Talk about first-class. Just don't get winded by him, 'cause the smell WON'T be coming out for a while!"**

**Bumblebee had RJ's gigantic foot on his hood.**

**"**_**DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!**_**" Exclaimed the robot's radio. RJ took his Apatosaur foot off the yellow Camarro. Jaden jumped and clambered up RJ's dinosaur body.**

**"Whoa, RJ!" He exclaimed "You look great!"**

**"Best I've seen ya look!" Kiba agreed.**

**"I'd have to agree with Kiba." Sora said.**

**"Same here!" Replied Kairi.**

**"I liked him better as a raccoon." Jack mumbled "At least THEN he could climb on me shoulder."**

**"He's got the outfit, the entourage, AND the ride!" Shrapnel shouted "But we're not through yet! We're gonna make you a STAR!" He then started casting several spells and shooting his gun off in various, undetermined, directions.**

_**Please review.**_

_**TLSoulDude.**_


	10. Prince Jad Yuka

Chapter 10: Enter Prince Jad Yuka

Mr. Krabs was counting his various bills. One was the painted one from 'Wet Painters' and another was the trick bill from 'Clams' that was soaked, torn slightly, crumpled, and kissed with blue lipstick. He was interrupted by Orochimaru bursting into the hall.

"Your highness!" Orochimaru shouted, being pursued by Chazz Princeton, and carrying a scroll "I have excellent news!"  
"You increased the taxes on the already impoverished peasants?" Mr. Krabs asked, eagerly.

"No, something concerning the princess." Orochimaru sighed.

"Really?" Mr. Krabs asked, mildly interested "What?"

"If the princess has not chosen a suitor by selected time," Orochimaru read "the king shall choose for her."

"Well, that won't exactly work." Mr. Krabs said "Alexis hated everyone with the title 'prince' or 'king' who so much as set foot in this castle."

"Don't worry, Krabs. There's more…" Orochimaru continued "In the event of the princess not selecting a groom, said princes shall be wed to…VERY interesting…"

"What is it?!" Mr. Krabs demanded "Orochimaru, I don't pay ya to act suspenseful!"  
"We get paid?" Chazz asked no one in particular.

"The princess shall be wed to the grand vizier…" Orochimaru continued, ignoring Chazz "Which would be…me."

"Strange." Mr. Krabs mumbled "I don't remember that. And I WROTE it."

"Yeah, it IS strange…" Chazz agreed, while shoving a pen further into his back pocket.

"Besides," Mr. Krabs continued "I thought that the princess was ONLY to get married to a prince or king."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Orochimaru said, using the Mind Control card again.

"Desperate…measures…" Mr. Krabs mumbled, falling into the Mind Control's influence.

"You will order Alexis to marry me." Orochimaru commanded.

"Alexis…marry…" Mr. Krabs mumbled, but quickly came out of his trance and asked "Wait, HOW old are ye again?"

"Alexis _WILL_ marry me!" Orochimaru hissed, increasing his Mind Control's power.

"Alexis…will…marry…" Mr. Krabs mumbled, but there was a trumpet "Hey, what is that?"

"WHY WAS I ALWAYS IGNORED?!" Chazz asked/hissed to himself, but the other two ran over. They saw a huge parade headed towards them, led by Shrapnel, who was disguised as a human, and continued by Bumblebee in his Camarro form and RJ in his dinosaur form, carrying Jaden and his friends.

"Aren't those things extinct?" Chazz asked to no one in particular.

"Make WAY, for Prince Jad!" Shrapnel called "Say 'Hey!' for Prince Jad!"

Shrapnel then began dancing around and firing his guns at random, hitting no one by sheer luck, singing.

Shrapnel: _Come, be the first to see him with your eyes, make way, shout out loud, don't be shy, I can guarantee you'll love this guy! Prince Jad! He's no shrew! Prince Jad! Show some respect, see his pecks. He's strong as heck! Prince Jad!_

"Who would come in singing THAT?!" Orochimaru demanded, but punched Chazz, who was dancing to the music.

Shrapnel: _A Duel Monster's game, he never quits! Prince Jad! Always good for chats. Prince Jad! Tougher than ten men, which makes 'em mad!_

Shrapnel turned into an old man and spoke to Abe Simpson and Jasper.

Shrapnel: _He's faced the Prince of Persia!_

Shrapnel then turned into a kid and spoke to Spongebob, Patrick, and Gary.

Shrapnel: _All his fights, you should've hearda!_

Shrapnel zipped over to Ash, Brock, and Misty.

Shrapnel: _Who helped give the Organization goons what they had? Obviously, Prince Jad!_

Alexis then walked onto a balcony to see what was going on. A certain green grouch then poked his head out of a nearby trashcan and shouted "I will NOT sing this song!" Before returning to his can's depths. After some MORE ridiculous verses, RJ Apatosaur (with extreme difficulty) got through the castle gates and the rest climbed down and were greeted by Mr. Krabs, Orochimaru, and Chazz.

"Well, boys, that was a GREAT show!" Mr. Krabs congratulated, clapping. Orochimaru and Chazz looked pretty ticked off.

"Thanks, Krabs." Replied Kiba, showing a toothy grin.

"King Krabs," Jaden announced after clearing his throat and sliding down RJ's tail "I've come from a faraway place to seek your daughter's hand in marriage."

"Actually, guardian." Mr. Krabs corrected "Her parents left ME in charge of her. Anyway, Prince Jad Yuka, I am honored by your appearance in me kingdom. THESE are me vizier and his assistant—Orochimaru and Charles "Chazz" Princeton. They are happy to see you, too."

"Ecstatic." Orochimaru muttered, venomously. He then noticed Kiba, "He looks like that guard who resigned. Kiba something…"

"Nah. Never met 'im!" Kiba barked, laughing.

"But, I'm afraid, Prince Ajuju…" Orochimaru started, but Jaden cut across him.

"Prince JAD." He corrected.

"Right. But, I'm afraid that you can't just parade here without…" Orochimaru continued, but Mr. Krabs was inspecting Bumblebee.

"Excellent Camarro!" He complimented "2008, if me eyes are tellin' the truth. May I?"

"Sure, let me unlock it." Jaden agreed before Mr. Krabs could continue. He pressed a button on the keys, the door opened wide, and Mr. Krabs got in and shot off.

"WOO-HOO!" He shouted "This ride makes me jolly as a Roger!"

"Idiot…" Orochimaru muttered, venomously, before turning to Jaden and his group "But I am curious, Jad. WHERE did you say you come from?"

"Uh…" Jaden thought, he did NOT expect this question to pop up "Here and there."

"But, I think we've been to more places than YOU have, my fine snaky friend." Jack said, placing an arm on Orochimaru's shoulder. The snake guy scared him off with a lick of his (very long) tongue, causing the pirate to shout "DID YOU JUST…"

"Try me…" Orochimaru challenged. Chazz was narrowly missed by Mr. Krabs, who was making dollar signs in the road.

"WATCH IT, CHEAPIE!" Chazz screamed at Mr. Krabs.

"I'm comin' to a stop!" Mr. Krabs announced "Orochimaru, watch me!"  
The car then came to a stop and Mr. Krabs was sent, spinning, out the car door and landed on his feet.

"_Aye-yai-yai! Me estomacho…_" Bumblebee groaned with a Mexican voice now.

"Arrgghh…I haven't had so much fun since I was a wee lad!" Mr. Krabs said, gasping for breath, he turned to Orochimaru "What a fine lad. _If we're lucky, we could marry HIM off to Alexis and he'll give me his MONEY!_" Mr. Krabs whispered the last sentence to Orochimaru and his eyes changed into giant dollar signs.

"_He's NOT to be trusted, master_." Orochimaru whispered back.

"_Nonsense, Orochimaru._" Mr. Krabs whispered "_I can tell a nice kid by his wallet…I mean when I see him._"

"Wallet's a definite yes." Chazz muttered, listening in on their conversation.

"I'm sure Alexis will like THIS one!" Krabs stated.

"My lord, no." Orochimaru shouted when Alexis entered the room "It is on Alexis' behalf that I intercede. This boy is no different than any other prince or king that has entered these gates!"

"HA!" Jaden laughed, feeling full of himself "Listen, dude, I am Prince Jad Yuka, I will win the princess…"

"WHAT?!" Alexis shouted, feeling insulted "You guys are talking about marrying me off behind my back?! Well, I'm NOT just the winner's prize."

She stormed off, leaving them in the dust.

"Not the worst mood I've seen her in…" Kiba murmured to himself.

"Uh oh!" Mr. Krabs gasped "Uh…Prince Jad, just give Alexis some time to cool off."

Mr. Krabs escorted them out.

"Do we get any rum?" Jack asked.

Chazz turned to Orochimaru.

"What now, Orochimaru?" Chazz asked.

"I think it's time we said 'goodbye' to Prince Ajuju." Orochimaru replied, darkly.


	11. A Whole New World

Chapter 11: A Whole New World

Jaden was with Shrapnel, Bumblebee, and RJ in the castle courtyard. Sora and Kairi left for some private time (when Jaden peeked into their window, he saw them kissing), Jack had gotten drunk and passed out while Kiba tried waking him up.

"C'mon, Jack, wake up." Kiba said, shaking Jack around "Wake up, Rummy!"

RJ was trying to eat some Spuddies, only to have them get crushed in his gigantic feet. Shrapnel and Bumblebee were playing chess.

"Your move." Shrapnel said after moving his rook. Bumblebee made a hum and moved his knight to take his rook.

"_Check._" Bumblebee said in a British tone.

"That's a good move…" Shrapnel said, he then did a Rodney Dangerfield impression "I can't believe it! I'm losin' to a bug…"

"Shrapnel," Jaden sighed "I need some help."

"Well, kid," Shrapnel replied, zipping over to Jaden "If ya wanna be a ladies' man, ya gotta be a straight shooter. Got it memorized?"

"What're ya sayin'?" Jaden asked. Shrapnel slapped himself and took out a chalkboard.

"Tell her the TRUTH!" He screamed. Jaden swiped at the board, causing it to poof out of existence.

"No way!" He shouted "If Alexis found that I was just…a lousy street-rat…she'd laugh at me."

"Gals love guys who can make 'em laugh." Shrapnel replied, but left the joking tone "Seriously, Jay, if ya wanna charm a lady, just be yourself."

"He's got a point there, Jay." RJ said, but his own language was replaced by grumbles and roars.

"Could I get some Cocoa Puffs…" Jack murmured, drunkenly, before passing out again.

"You're right!" Jaden said, unbuttoning his jacket "If I wanna impress Lexi, I've gotta be calm, cool, CONFIDENT!" He then turned to Shrapnel "How do I look?"

"_You feelin' lucky, punk?_" Bumblebee asked with a Clint Eastwood impression.

"Like a prince." Shrapnel sighed.

Kiba walked back with Jack, who was half-conscious.

"He's got a point there, Jay." Replied Kiba "Sure, I may not be a 'ladies man' as Jack puts it, but I have THAT much sense. Just go see her."

"No thanks, Andrea." Jack murmured "I think the only thing I want is to look at ye."

Bumblebee then picked up Jaden and elevated him to Alexis' room. She was on her bed, feeling down, when she heard footsteps.

"Shall I attack him?" Red XIII, who was next to her, asked.

"Not unless I'm feeling attacked." Replied Alexis "Besides, we don't know who it is. Who's there?"

"Uh…it's me, Prince…" Jaden stammered, before making his voice sound a bit more impressive "Prince Jad Yuka."

"I DON'T wanna see you." Alexis replied, coldly, then she whispered to Red XIII "_If I snap my fingers, attack him._"

Red XIII growled and began to advance on Jaden.

"Whoa! Easy…uh…kitty-cat?" Jaden stammered again, not knowing Red XIII's species, then turned to Alexis "Just give me another chance!"

"Just leave me alone." Alexis replied.

"Though you may seem like a good person," Red snarled "If you annoy Ms. Rhodes, I shall be forced to kill."

Red XIII backed Jaden to the edge of the balcony.

"Leave me alone!" Alexis commanded.

"Do I kill yet?" Red XIII asked, genuinely curious.

"C'mon, Lex, just gimme a chance!" Jaden begged. A bee version of Shrapnel appeared.

"_Psst…how's our little hot-shot doin'?_" He asked Bumblebee.

"_…Death and destruction…are imminent…_" Bumblebee replied in two different voiced. Alexis looked ready to snap her fingers, but stopped at the last second.

"Do I…know you?" Alexis asked.

"Me? HA! No." Jaden replied, not so coolly.

"You just…remind me of someone I met in the market." Alexis stated.

"_Wuh-oh! She's onto me!_" Jaden thought to himself "I uh…have servants who go to the market FOR me. In fact, I even have servants who go FOR servants. So, it couldn't have possibly…"

"Guess not…" Alexis murmured. Shrapnel then zipped over to Jaden, still a bee.

"_'Nuff about YOU, Casablanca._" He said "_Get to HER. They eyes, the hair, the attitude, the not murderous attack cat thing, ANYTHING, Jay!_"

"Uh…Alexis?" Jaden asked, he was, obviously, clueless about this "You're…uh…very…"

"_Pretty? Magnificent? Female? Seto Kaiba with balloons on his…forget it. Punctual?_" Shrapnel suggested.

"Punctual?" Jaden asked.

"Punctual?!" Alexis shouted.

"Beautiful!" Jaden said.

"_Excellent save!_" Bumblebee shouted like a sport's commentator.

"Hmm, I'm rich, too." Alexis replied, smoothly, walking towards him.

"Yeah." Jaden said, dreamily, only half listening.

"The daughter of the king…"

"Yeah…"

"A fine prize for ANY prince." She stated, Shrapnel and Bumblebee knew what was going to happen.

"Yeah, a prince like ME." Jaden replied, still half-listening "_Uh-oh!_" Shrapnel said "_I know from personal experience that shan't end well…_" "_Amen._" Bumblebee replied, like people saying a prayer.

"Yes. A prince like YOU." Alexis replied, tying Jaden's collar too tight "And every other self-obsessed ninny I've ever met!"

"_MAYDAY! MAYDAY!_" Shrapnel screamed, acting like a ship gunned down. Jaden was being strangled until he unbuttoned it.

"But…"

"Go…jump off the balcony!" Alexis shouted, extremely fed up with Jaden.

"What?" Jaden asked, wrong footed.

"_Stop her! STOP HER!_" Shrapnel shouted, pulling out a pistol "_Want me to shoot 'er? Won't be fatal at THIS size…_"

"Shrapnel!" Jaden hissed to the gunman genie "Go away! You've done enough!"

"_Sure, boss!_" Shrapnel saluted "_Remember! Be yourself!_"

Shrapnel vanished into Jaden's pocket, which held his lamp. "Right…" Jaden murmured, more focused on Shrapnel than Alexis.

"What?"

"You're right!" Jaden corrected, snapping his attention back to Alexis "You're not just…some prize to be won. You've gotta be…allowed to make your OWN choices. I'll go now!"

Jaden then stepped off the balcony, wrong footing Alexis now.

"NO!" She shouted, but saw Jaden getting elevated, slowly upwards "How're you doing that?"

Jaden was elevated further and it turned out that Bumblebee was elevating him.

"This is my robot friend, Bumblebee." Jaden explained.

"He's cool." Alexis said.

"_Stop it, you're makin' me blush…_" Bumblebee replied in a Southern accent.

"He talks through the radio." Jaden answered Alexis' unasked question. He then asked his own "Would you like to go for a ride? You'll see the world."

"Is it safe?" Alexis asked.

"Do ya trust me?" Jaden asked, reminding Alexis of the first time they met.

"What?"

"Do ya trust me?"

"Yes." Was her simple answer. Bumblebee picked her up and placed the two on the ground before shifting into his Camarro form. He took off and left Red XIII staring at them.

"Hope she made the correct choice…" Red XIII said to himself.

Bumblebee drove out of the castle gates and Jaden began to sing while they were inside him.

Jaden:_ I can show you the world…shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, Alexis, when did you last let your heart decide? I can open your eyes…show you wonder by wonder. Like the wild, blue yonder. On a transforming Camarro ride. A Whole New World. No one to tell us no, telling us so, say we're only fooling…_

Alexis: _A whole new world. A dazzling place I never knew. But when I'm here, everything is crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with you. Now I'm in a whole new world with you…_

Bumblebee drove past some Microraptors from Prehistoric Park. They scattered and ran off.

Alexis: _Unbelievable sights. Indescribable feelings. Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling. Through an endless diamond field. A whole new world!_

Jaden: _Don't you dare to close your eyes._

Alexis: _A hundred thousand things to see._

Dr. Eggman saw them and dropped his Chaos Emerald, causing his facility to explode.

Alexis: _I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far, I can't go back to where I used to be! A whole new world! Every turn is a new surprise! With new horizons to pursue! Every moment a red letter!_

The passed a pasture of horses, Alexis petted a chestnut one.

Alexis: _A whole new world!_

Jaden: _A whole new world!_

Alexis: _That's where I'll be!_

Jaden: _That's where I'll be!_

Alexis: _A thrilling chase!_

Jaden: _A wondrous place!_

Jaden and Alexis: _For you and me…_

There were explosions as they reached Land of the Dragons during new year. Alexis looked on it with wonder as they got onto Bumblebee's hood. The Camarro robot was playing I Need You by LeAnn Rimes.

"It's magical…" Alexis sighed.

"Sure is." Jaden agreed.

Alexis decided to test him to see if her idea was true. If he wasn't him, he wouldn't know what she was talking about. Still… "Too bad RJ can't see this."

Jaden laughed and replied without thinking. "Ah, not really. He hates fireworks AND cars for that matter."

"_…you lamebrain…_" Bumblebee said like Moe Howard.

"I KNEW IT!" Shouted Alexis, unbuckling his jacket, showing his trademark red shirt for all to see "You ARE that boy from the market! Why'd you lie to me?!"

"Lex, I'm sorry!" Jaden stammered, trying (and failing) to recover his fumble.

"Did ya think I was STUPID?!"  
"No!"

"That I wouldn't find out?!"

"No, I HOPED you," Jaden started, but stopped himself halfway through "Wait, that's NOT what I…"

"Who are you?!" Alexis demanded "Tell the TRUTH."

"The truth?" Jaden asked, sweating "The truth is…uh…sometimes…I…dress up like your average Joe just to get out of the palace life." It was a good save, but he decided to throw the next sentence in "But, I'm REALLY a prince."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Asked Alexis.

"Well," Jaden replied, confident "Royalty goin' out of the palace, in the 'average Joe' wear is kinda…unusual."

"Not really." Alexis said. She buttoned up Jaden's jacket and snuggled up to him. In his mind, Jaden was whooping at the top of his lungs and doing the conga.

"_Ah, true love._" Bumblebee sighed with a French accent.


	12. Orochimaru's Treachary

Chapter 12: Orochimaru's Treachery

Sora and Kairi came back, laughing, to see Jaden with Alexis. They backed off, along with Bumblebee, to give them some space.

"Goodnight, Prince Charming." Alexis said, winking.

"Sleep tight, Lexi." Jaden replied, blushing. Alexis then caught him off guard by kissing him. He seemed unsure, but returned it. They ended it and Bumblebee brought Jaden down. Once Alexis shut the door, Jaden jumped into the air and whooped.

"YES!" He shouted, Sora and Kairi caught up.

"Congrats, Jay!" Sora complimented.

"Yeah," Kairi continued "You and Lexi are a cute couple."

"AND," Jaden added "For the first time in our lives, things are JUST fine..."

Jaden no sooner said this when Pete, Marvin, and the Koopa Brothers appeared out of nowhere and soon and them bound and gagged. Jaden tried calling for RJ, but he was chained to the tree. Jack and Kiba were caught in the same position THEY were. Jack still looked a bit drunk. Marvin was then blasting Bumblebee with a freezing ray, which caused him to freeze in place. Orochimaru and Chazz appeared next to Jaden.

"I'm afraid you've overstayed your welcome," Orochimaru sneered "Prince Ajuju."

"We've got you and your little friends, too!" Chazz added, sticking out his tongue, which Orochimaru grabbed.

"Silence, Princeton!" He commanded.

"Yes, sir!" Chazz whimpered with his tongue out.

Orochimaru turned to the other six and said "Make sure that they're NEVER found. Use any means necessary."

Jaden, Sora, Kairi, Kiba, and (not so much) Jack tried struggling, but Pete took one of the Koopa Brothers and smashed their heads with it, knocking them out. They put Akamaru in a bag and tossed the entire crew over a cliff.

"_MAN!_" Sora screamed in his head.

"_We can't summon our Keyblades…_" Kairi thought, not knowing what Sora thought.

"_I can't get Akamaru out!_" Kiba thought.

"_Where can I get some Cocoa Puffs?_" Jack asked in his head, drunkenly.

"_I've gotta…get the lamp…_" Jaden thought. They reached the ocean floor and Jaden reached for it, but passed out a bit early, brushing the lamp with his fingers. Shrapnel appeared out of nowhere with a pizza with pepperoni, bacon, ham, sausage, and green peppers and a two-liter root beer bottle.

"I KNEW this would happen!" Shrapnel shouted "Every time I get ready for pizza night, someone…" he then noticed that the entire group was drowning "JAY!" Shrapnel gasped before grabbing them "C'mon, you've just gotta say it! 'Shrapnel, I wish you'd save our stinking lives' Got it memorized?!" He shook Jaden so that his head nodded "I'll take THAT as a yes…" Shrapnel turned into a submarine and grabbed Jaden and friends "TOP SCOPE!" He then began babbling in German as he brought them to the surface. Jaden coughed and looked at Shrapnel.

"Thanks…" he sighed.

"Don't you kids scare me like that AGAIN!" He scolded "Got it memorized?!" Kairi then hugged him.

"Thanks, Shrapnel." She said. Shrapnel then grabbed the rest in a giant hug.

"I think I'm likin' you band of misfits!" He shouted, but added "But I ain't pickin' out curtains or nothin'…"

Jack then came out of his drunken state to ask "What'd I miss?"

Meanwhile, Alexis was looking through some cards, humming the song she recently heard, but heard Mr. Krabs call for her. "Alexis?"

"Coming, Mr. Krabs!" She shouted, before running into the room where the crustacean was "I've had the BEST time!"

"Ye should be, Ms. Rhodes. For I've chosen a husband for ye." Mr. Krabs said in a monotone.

"What?" Alexis asked, hopes flying high.

"Ye will wed…Orochimaru." Mr. Krabs muttered, Orochimaru and Chazz coming out of a hidden door. Alexis gasped and her hand flew to her face.

"You are speechless?" Orochimaru asked, smugly "I like that in a woman."

"I WON'T marry you!" Alexis snarled, wheeling to Mr. Krabs "Krabs, I chose Prince Jad!"

"Prince Jad left." Orochimaru chuckled "Like all the others. He and his fellows had business ELSEWHERE."

"Better check your cards AGAIN, Orochimaru!" Shouted Jaden as he, Sora, Kairi, Kiba, and Jack walked in.

"And other than THAT, ya missed nothin'." Kiba informed Jack "You don't remember getting heaved into the ocean?"  
"Not really, Kiba, me matie." Jack replied.

"We've got a bone to pick with you, Orochimaru!" Sora snarled.

"MORE than one, I might add." Kairi added.

"Prince Jad!" Alexis cheered.

"HOW COULD HE HAVE SURVIVED?!" Chazz shouted, but saw Orochimaru's glare "Shutting up…"

Jaden walked up to Orochimaru until they were virtually nose-to-nose.

"Tell her the TRUTH, Ultima Goth!" Jaden snarled "You tried to get me AND my friends KILLED!"

"What ridiculous nonsense." Orochimaru laughed, holding the Mind Control card closer to Mr. Krabs "My lord, he's OBVIOUSLY lying."

"Obviously…lying…" Mr. Krabs murmured, Orochimaru's hold growing stronger.

"Dad, what's wrong with you?!" Alexis cried. Jaden caught on quickly.

"I know what's wrong!" He said, snatching the Mind Control from Orochimaru's hold and ripping it in half, ending Orochimaru's control over Mr. Krabs.

"Arrgghh…" Mr. Krabs moaned "What hit me?"  
"Your majesty," Jaden proclaimed, holding out the halves of Mind Control "Orochimaru was controlling you with THIS!" Mr. Krabs took the card and looked dumbfounded.

"WHAT?!" Mr. Krabs shouted "Controlling ME without me permission?! Orochimaru and fellow Goth!"

"Please, King Krabs!" Orochimaru stammered "Let me explain…" his excuses proved for naught, seeing as Jaden was advancing with Sora and Kairi (with their Keyblades out), Kiba (who was snarling), Jack (who had his sword out), and Alexis (who was cracking her knuckles).

"GUARDS!" Shouted Mr. Krabs. Hassleberry, Hiro Nakamura, Marvin, and Pete ran in "Throw these two in the brig!"

"With pleasure, sergeant!" Hassleberry exclaimed, grabbing Orochimaru with Pete, while Hiro and Marvin grabbed a hold of Chazz.

"We're dead!" Chazz whined "We're dead! We're dead! Just dig a grave for BOTH of us! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!"

Orochimaru noticed Shrapnel's lamp poking out of Jaden's pocket and smirked. The guards were dragging both of them away.

"NOT THE DUNGEON!" Chazz shouted "I don't wanna end up as pale as HIM!" He pointed to Orochimaru during his last sentence. Orochimaru then began making strange hand signs.

"This isn't over YET, brats!" He snarled "Escape Jutsu!"

The two then vanished in puffs of cloud. Hassleberry snarled as his eyes flashed as slits for a few seconds.

"FIND HIM!" Mr. Krabs shouted as the guards ran off in opposite directions "SEARCH EVERYWHERE!"

"You okay, Lexi?" Jaden asked.

"That was…just plain creepy." Kiba shuddered.

"Obviously, you've never seen the Flying Dutchman." Jack replied.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Alexis replied to Jaden, smiling. They looked ready to kiss AGAIN, but Mr. Krabs was fuming about the whole affair.

"I can't believe me first mate was plottin' to stab me in the back the whole time!" He snarled "THAT'S mutiny…" he noticed Alexis and Jaden "What? Has Alexis found the man for her? I'm happy enough to kiss ye…but I'll leave that to Jad. You two are gonna be wed at earliest opportunity! _Oh, I'm gonna be rich…_I mean, Prince Jad, you shall be the new king of Crossopolis!"

"Wait…what?!" Jaden asked, dumbfounded "KING of Crossopolis?!"

"Aye, ye will be!" Mr. Krabs answered "Someone with YOUR money…I mean morality is EXACTLY what this kingdom needs!"

Jaden had a look of pure shock on his face.

"Jay?" Kiba asked, waving his hand around Jaden's face to show no response.

Meanwhile, in Orochimaru's hiding spot, Orochimaru shut the doors and Chazz zipped to the drawers and began unloading it.

"We've GOT to get outta here, Mr. O!" He said in one breath "I've got all the essentials—How to Betray Your Superiors by Benedict Arnold, easy-make Curse Marks, cards, and this picture…I dunno. I think I'm givin' you rabbit ears, but…"

Orochimaru wasn't listening, seeing as he was laughing like crazy. Chazz sighed in exasperation.

"Ah, great." He sighed "He's cracked. He's lost it." Chazz walked over to Orochimaru "Boss? Mr. O? Orochimaru! GET A GRIP!" Orochimaru caught Chazz by the throat and the lesser Goth was choking "_VERY good grip…_"

" 'Prince Jad Yuka' is ACTUALLY that street rat Jaden Yuki!" Orochimaru said, triumphantly "And his fellows are those urchins who are ALWAYS tagging along with him! AND he's got the lamp!"

"That slacker?!" Chazz demanded, but Orochimaru talked over him.

"You shall…relieve him of it." Orochimaru sneered.

"How?" Chazz asked. Orochimaru threw him a few cards.

"Use your imagination." He said, snapping his fingers and several Sound Village Ninjas appeared "If not, you shall be the new training dummy for my ninjas."

"And with THAT," Chazz whimpered, not wanting to get pummeled by the ninjas "I'm off!"


	13. Wrath of the Goths

Chapter 13: Wrath of the Goths

Jaden had NEVER expected to be in THIS situation with two things on the line—Alexis' love or his honor. If he continued the masquerade, his honor would be as good as dead and he'd probably lose all of his friends. If he told Alexis who he really was…he didn't want to think about it.

"ME?! Head of Crossopolis?!" Jaden wondered aloud "I'm not cut out for running a city!"

Shrapnel then appeared out of nowhere with his guns out.

"All hail Jay! All hail Jay! All hail HERO Jay!" He cheered, firing his guns into the air, sending flocks of dead birds to the ground. He then turned into a one-man band, then noticed that Jaden sulked past him without a word. Shrapnel turned into a TV show host "So, PRINCE Jad, you've just rid Crossopolis of two Goths, won the heart of the lovely Alexis Rhodes, and are about to become KING Jad! What're you gonna do next?" Jaden just flopped down on his bed. Unknown to him, Kiba, Sora, Kairi, Jack, RJ, and Bumblebee were watching him.

"He's taking it kind of hard." Sora said.

"Well, his plans DID turn for the worse." Kiba replied "One minute, he's Alexis' secret admirer, next he's about to become king."

Kairi shuddered. She WAS an original princess, but left seeing as the burden seemed…a bit much.

"If he doesn't want to," Jack said "I could marry Ms. Rhodes. I look like him." The rest simply stared at him.

"_You miserable jerk!_" Bumblebee shouted. RJ roared in agreement.

"Jack, you don't understand." Kairi said to the pirate "If Krabs makes Jaden king, he'd have to remain Prince Jad forever and wouldn't be able to set Shrapnel free."

"Oh…right." Jack mumbled, then pulled out a bottle of rum and began chugging it.

Shrapnel then appeared as a stage director and appeared next to Jaden.

"_Next line,_" whispered Shrapnel "_I am going to FREE the deranged gunman…anytime…"_

"Shrapnel, I can't…" Jaden sighed.

"Sure ya can! Ya just say," Shrapnel then grabbed Jaden's mouth, making him lip-synch for a few seconds "_Shwapnel, I wish you fwee, DANG IT!_"

"Shrapnel, I MEAN IT!" Jaden shouted, wrenching himself from Shrapnel's grip "They wanna make ME king…no, they wanna make Prince Jad Yuka king. Without you, I'm just Jaden Yuki."

"Jay, ya won, dude!" Shrapnel said "Got it…"

"FORGET THE MEMORIZED DEAL!" Jaden snapped, silencing Shrapnel immediately "Sorry. I only won because of YOU. The only reason everybody thinks I'm SOMEBODY now is because of YOU! What if they find out I'm NOT a prince? What if Alexis finds out?! I'd lose her…Shrapnel, I'm sorry. But I can't do this alone. I…can't wish you free."

"FINE!" Shrapnel growled, feeling let down and angry "Well, ya lie to everyone else, I was just feelin' left out. So what if it's JUST an eternity of endless wish granting?! If you'll excuse me…MASTER." Shrapnel poofed back into his lamp.

"Shrapnel…I'm sorry." Jaden apologized, but all he got was a gun barrel poking out of the lamp. A trigger pulled and a flag came out that said 'Shaddup'. "FINE!" Jaden snarled "Just STAY in there for all I care!" Jaden's fellows were looking at him, concerned, but he just lashed out "What're YOU lookin' at?!"

"Ouch." Jack said, walking away.

"Fine, we'll leave ya alone." Kiba snarled, then beckoned to Akamaru "C'mon, Akamaru."

"First Shrapnel," Sora sighed "Now us."

"You're living a lie, Jay." Kairi scolded, following Sora, Kiba, and Jack.

"_Oh, the pain!_" Bumblebee shouted, dramatically, walked away, followed by RJ.

"Guys, wait!" Jaden called, knowing what he just did "Don't go…I'm sorry." He then thought to himself before slamming his fist into his hand "Shrapnel's right! I've gotta tell Alexis the truth!"

All of the sudden, Alexis' voice rang across the courtyard "Jad? Jad, could you come out here?"

"Lexi?" Jaden asked, then murmured to himself "Here goes something…" he then bolted out of the room "Lex, where are you?"

"Out near the garden." Alexis responded, but she darted behind a bush as Jaden passed "Too easy…" she said to herself, using Chazz's voice. The effects of Armed Changer then wore off and Chazz was in place of Alexis. A Pikachu then began sniffing him.

"GOT A PROBLEM," Chazz demanded, punching the electric rodent "MOUSY?!"

Chazz then darted into Jaden's room. Chazz then began tossing around Jaden's various belongings until he found Shrapnel's lamp.

"Mr. O's gonna be happy to see YOU!" Chazz said, then turned into Orochimaru with his voice doing an impression "Excellent job, Princeton." Chazz then changed back, you get what's going on "Go on." "Seriously, on a scale of one to ten, you're twenty-six." "Oh, c'mon, boss! You're making me blush, seriously!" Chazz then ran off with the lamp.

French Narrator: Meanwhile…

Mr. Krabs was in robes for a king and speaking to the various inhabitants of Crossopolis.

"Citizens of Crossopolis!" Called Krabs "Me beautiful daughter, Alexis Rhodes, has finally chosen a suitor!"

Jaden stumbled into the room to find Alexis.

"Lex?" Jaden asked.

"Where've you been Jad?" Alexis asked, excited.

"There's something I've gotta…" Jaden mumbled, but Alexis grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away.

"The whole city's turned up for Krabs' announcement!"

"C'mon, Lex! There's something I have to tell ya…" Jaden didn't manage to get the words out, because Alexis forced him through the curtain.

"Prince Jad Yuka!" Mr. Krabs announced as the crowd cheered.

"Man…" was all Jaden could say.

Meanwhile, in Orochimaru's lair, Orochimaru and Chazz were watching them. Chazz scoffed.

"Watch 'em cheer for that slacker." Chazz spat.

"Let them cheer." Orochimaru replied, rubbing Shrapnel's lamp. The gunman appeared with a pair of machine guns.

"THAT tears it, Jay! Stick 'em up, 'cause you never…" Shrapnel then noticed who he was talking to and all his bullets came out of the guns "Whoops. Wrong guy. Though, I guess I could've seen the fact that he was super…"

"Shut up!" Orochimaru commanded, bringing his foot into Shrapnel's face "I am your master now, you lunatic!"

"Y'know, I knew somethin' like this was gonna happen…" Shrapnel muttered, but Orochimaru ignored this.

"Shrapnel!" Orochimaru commanded, dramatically "My first wish is to be the master of the entire city!"

Dark clouds then surrounded the city and Mr. Krabs' robes flew off, leaving nothing on Mr. Krabs but his undergarments. They went onto Orochimaru, who looked disgusted at the looks.

"Orochimaru!" Mr. Krabs shouted "You lousy, mutinous, bilge rat!"

"THAT'S LORD lousy, mutinous, bilge rat to YOU, cheapy!" Chazz shouted, but then saw Orochimaru "No offense, Mr. O."

"Really?" Jaden asked, reaching for Shrapnel's lamp "We'll just see about…" Jaden found nothing "Where's the lamp?!"

Orochimaru clicked his tongue and held out the lamp "Finders keepers, Prince Ajuju!" A giant, dark Shrapnel then appeared and lifted up the castle. Jaden whistled and Bumblebee ran towards Jaden and picked him up.

"Shrapnel! STOP!" Jaden shouted, Shrapnel looked, for the first time, a bit…sad.

"Sorry, Jay." Shrapnel replied, placing the castle on a mountain "I have a new master now. Got it memorized?"

"HEY!" Mr. Krabs shouted "Relocating costs MONEY!" Mr. Krabs turned to Orochimaru "Mr. Orochimaru! I order ye to stop this before ya get me bankrupt!"

"Sorry, cheapskate king." Replied Orochimaru "There's a new rule in the kingdom NOW—I rule! Now, you'll bow to me!"  
"Like we're gonna bow to a Goth like YOU." Alexis snarled sarcastically, standing tall.

"Boy, I'm NOT surprised." Chazz muttered, darkly.

"Then, if you won't bow before a king, then maybe you'll cower before a sorcerer!" Orochimaru said, he then called to Shrapnel "SHRAPNEL! My second wish! Make me the most powerful sorcerer…IN THE WORLD!"

"Shrapnel, NO!" Jaden shouted, trying to move Shrapnel's finger, but it pulled the trigger of one of his revolvers, firing a blast of magic, which hit Orochimaru.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Chazz shouted as Orochimaru was changing "Give a warm welcome to the king of Crossopolis, the all-mighty sorcerer…OROCHIMARU!"

When the magic vanished, Orochimaru was out of the king's garbs and had his usual ones and a large, intimidating-looking staff.

"Now, where were we?" Orochimaru asked, pointing his staff at Krabs and Alexis "Oh, right. Abject humension!" His staff fired a blast, which forced the two to bow. There was a growling and Red XIII was running towards Orochimaru.

"I cannot allow you to harm ANYONE!" Shouted XIII, but Orochimaru pointed his staff at him.

"Down boy!" He shouted, changing Orochimaru into a younger version of his species.

"What just happened?" Red XIII asked.

"Time to fall in, guys!" Someone shouted. Sora, Kairi, and Kiba landed gracefully on the ground, while Jack landed on his face. Sora and Kairi summoned their Keyblades, Kiba was looking more vicious, and Jack got to his feet and drew his sword.

"Throw him overboard!" Jack commanded.

"Aye aye!" Responded Sora.

"Oh, Alexis!" Orochimaru called to Alexis "There's someone I'm DYING to introduce you to!"

"Get your hands off her!" Shouted Jaden as he landed back on the ground with Bumblebee.

Orochimaru:_ Yes, it's Prince Jad, it's true, but not as you know him! Read my lips and come to grips with what I'll show you. Let's meet a blast from your past. Whose lies were too good to last. Say hello to your Precious Prince Jad!_

Orochimaru blasted Jaden into his usual wear.

"Or should we call him Jaden Yuki!" Orochimaru sneered, leaving Alexis dumbstruck.

"Jad…" she whispered in disbelief.

"Alexis," Jaden said "I TRIED to tell you. I'm just a…

Orochimaru: _So, Jaden turned out to just be Jaden._

"NOW we throw him overboard!" Jack shouted.

"Let's get him!" Shouted Kairi.

RJ lifted up his foot to squish Orochimaru and the rest appeared with weapons drawn. Orochimaru blasted RJ from his Apatosaur form into his raccoon form and changed the rest back into their usual garbs.

"Easy come, easy go." Sora said, shrugging.

"I did like the jacket, though." Kairi sighed.

"Believe me," Kiba said "This isn't the worst thing you've seen Jack in."

Orochimaru: _Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me. Their personality flaws give me adequate cause to send them packing on a one-way trip so his prospects take a terminal dip, their assets frozen, venue chosen is World's End…!_

Orochimaru trapped Jaden and his friends in a small building an lit a fuse like a firework and shouted "So long!" as the building blasted off like a firework with Jaden, Sora, Kairi, Kiba, Akamaru, Jack, RJ, and Bumblebee to who-knows-where.

"Good-bye!" Chazz shouted, waving good-bye "See ya! Write if ya get work!"

Orochimaru: _EX-Prince Jad!_


	14. The Final Showdown

Chapter 14: The Final Showdown

At World's End…

The building rolled down the dunes of a giant desert. Jaden flew out with his friends.

"Never thought I'd go here again." Jack murmured. Jaden was searching, frantically, for RJ, but there weren't any signs of him.

"RJ?" Jaden called before shouting "RJ?!"

A piece of sand was moving and RJ came out. Jaden plucked him out and placed him on his shoulder.

"You okay, dude?" Jaden asked.

"I've been better…" RJ muttered in his own language. Jaden then slumped down.

"Guys, I'm sorry." He apologized "I should've freed Shrapnel when I still had the chance!"

Sora placed his hand on Jaden's shoulder.

"It's okay, Jay." He said. Kiba, Jack, and Kairi walked over and touched Jaden in different places on his shoulder/arms.

"Sure, you made the biggest mess we've ever been in," Kiba said, Akamaru yipping his approval.

"But, you've still got us." Kairi finished, smiling.

"Now, the only thing we can do NOW, is go back and set things right. Savvy?" Jack commented. Jaden stood up and stepped on something metal.

"Bumblebee?" Jaden asked.

"_Yes…it is I…_" replied a radio voice that sounded drunk. Bumblebee's hood then jumped out and the robot heaved himself out to his ankles "_I could use some help here…_" Bumblebee shouted.

"GUYS!" Jaden shouted, digging away at the sand that covered Bumblebee's feet "Start digging!" Sora and Kairi were chipping away at the sand with their Keyblades, Kiba was using his Tunneling Fang technique, and Jack was digging with a shovel that he brought along. A tidal wave was headed towards them and they began digging faster. Bumblebee was freed soon after and they all zoomed off in his Camarro.

"_Message from star-fleet, captain…Let's get to it._" Bumblebee said in two different voices.

"He's right, guys!" Jaden shouted "Back to Crossopolis!"

"And I had the foresight to gather us a few mates." Jack said.

"Actually, it was the three of US who came up with it." Kiba snapped, gesturing at himself, Sora, and Kairi "Anyway, our friends will be waiting for us when we get there!"

Meanwhile, back at Crossopolis, Orochimaru was now the top dog. Chazz was torturing Mr. Krabs, who was in a jester suit, by shoving Krabby Patties into his mouth.

"How do YOU like that?!" Chazz jeered as he jammed more "Here, have some MORE burgers!"

"Stop it!" Alexis shouted "Orochimaru, leave him alone!" She was in a blue harem dress (the EXTREMELY revealing type) and was carrying a dish of fruits in it. Orochimaru waved a hand and Chazz growled and ceased shoving fast food products down Krabs' throat. Orochimaru took and apple and took a bite out of it. Alexis was surprised that it didn't rot in his hands.

"It pains me to see you like this, Ms. Rhodes." He said, spitting a piece of apple onto her cheek "A beautiful flower like YOU should be in the arms of the most powerful man on earth!" Alexis wiped away the piece of apple with her lip sticking out. Orochimaru then summoned a small crown out of nowhere with magic "What do YOU say to being my queen?"

"Keep dreaming." She said, flatly, splashing him with wine. Orochimaru then backhanded her.

"I'll teach YOU how to respect your superiors!" He hissed, raising his staff, but changed his mind "No, I have a better idea. Shrapnel!" Shrapnel sighed before returning to Orochimaru's side "My third and final wish—I want you to make the princess fall MADLY in love with me!"

"Uh…Master?" Shrapnel asked, doing his Mr. Alfred impression again "There are a few provisos and a couple quid…" Orochimaru then punched Shrapnel.

"Don't talk back to me, you gun-happy lunatic!" Orochimaru spat "You will do as I tell you, slave!"

Alexis then saw Jaden and his friends, along with a few others who will be revealed later, sulking behind a pillar. Jaden made a shushing motion with his fingers and Alexis winked, getting the picture.

"Orochimaru," she said, dreamily, "I never realized…how handsome you are…"

Shrapnel's mouth fell open and all of his guns fell out of his jacket. Orochimaru closed Shrapnel's mouth like a shade.

"That's better. Well done, lunatic." Orochimaru said, satisfied, not noticing Jack falling from the curtain and landing on a pile of gold, swearing at the top of his lungs. He walked over to Alexis "Now, Alexis. Tell me more…about myself."

Shrapnel turned to see Jaden and his friends (minus Jack and RJ).

"JAY!" He shouted "Buddy! I knew you'd come to save…"

"Quiet…" Jaden whispered, zipping up Shrapnel's mouth. The gunman went over to Jaden.

"Jay, I can't help ya!" He whispered, before changing his face to look like Orochimaru's "I work for Mr. Creepy Goth Psychopath, remember?! What're we gonna do?!"

"Hey, we're street rats, remember?" Kiba asked, grinning.

"We'll do the best thing we can." Sora continued and Jaden answered.

"We'll improvise."

"Go on…" Orochimaru said to Alexis.

"And your hair, is so…greasy." She replied, twirling a finger through his hair, though motioning to Jaden and co. to come closer while she was distracting Orochimaru. Chazz noticed this.

"Mr.…" Chazz tried saying, but Jack and RJ got a hold on him.

"Yer staying down, my fine Goth friend!" Jack whispered "Savvy?"

Jaden was getting closer to the lamp, but RJ accidentally knocked over the bowl of fruit, slightly alerting Orochimaru. Alexis had ONE trick left—she kissed him. Jaden sighed in relief.

"Eww…" Jack, RJ, and Chazz said.

"That was…" Orochimaru said, but noticed Jaden's reflection in Alexis' crown "YOU!" He blasted Jaden off the pile of gold "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU?!"

"Apparently more times than you've tried!" Sora whispered to himself.

Orochimaru shoved Alexis away and Jaden jumped at Orochimaru's staff and the two began fighting for it.

"Lexi! Get the lamp!" Jaden called. Alexis ran for the lamp, but Orochimaru wrenched his staff from Jaden's grip and blasted the princess with it.

"Your time is UP, Ms. Rhodes!" Cackled Orochimaru, the blast had caught Alexis in an hourglass.

"Ha-ha! Nice shot Oro—" Chazz shouted, but RJ belted him over the head with his golf club, knocking him out. RJ then ran over and caught the lamp.

"DON'T toy with me, vermin!" Orochimaru shouted, firing a blast at RJ, who tossed the lamp, but couldn't escape. He got turned into a stuffed animal. Bumblebee caught the lamp and started running, but got turned into an RC car "Things are getting out of order, don't you think?! Why did you come back at all?!"

"To save Alexis and everyone else!" Jaden replied "And, to a lesser extent, to stop YOU!"

"You and what army?" Orochimaru asked.

"Glad ya asked, Ultima Goth!" Sora answered, grinning "EVERYBODY OUT!"  
Spongebob, Patrick, and Gary popped out along with Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, Neji, and Hinata (Naruto) appeared with their weapons out. Kakashi was reading a manga book and looked up with a half-asleep expression on his eye.

"Time already?" He asked as Neji and Hinata activated their Byakugan eyes.

After Squad 7 and the sponge, starfish, and snail appeared, Jim "Crocodile" Cook (Yu-Gi-Oh GX) jumped out with Vincent Valentine (Final Fantasy VII).

"Let's get on it, mates." Jim said in his Australian accent.

"Whatever." Was Vincent and Sasuke's reply.

"Believe it!" Shouted Naruto as they ran into battle. Hassleberry then fell out of nowhere.

"Leave some for me, soldiers!" He said, flexing his muscles.

"Well, I've got my OWN army!" Shouted Orochimaru, snapping his fingers. Several Sound Ninjas appeared out of nowhere.

"Jaden," said Kiba "Get that lamp! We'll hold off these clowns!"

"Think of it THIS way," Kakashi added "If we fail, the only thing we lose is our lives."

"REAL comforting, Kakashi sensei." Sakura sighed. Jaden then took off after the lamp. He saw Orochimaru and picked up a blade-like Duel Disk and blocked the attack from Orochimaru's staff. Jaden maneuvered the blade away and began slicing with his duel-disk. They exchanged blows and Orochimaru laughed.

"I'm just getting warmed up!" He shouted as fire began dancing around the area where they were.

"Too cowardly to fight me yourself, you cowardly snake!" He snarled, Orochimaru parted the flames.

"A snake, am I?" He asked "How about I show you how SNNNAKE-LIKE I CAN BE!" When he said the end of the last sentence, her turned into a giant, white snake, but kept his hair. Jaden jumped over and drove his Duel Disk into Orochimaru's hide and he screamed in pain.

"MAKE 'IM SHAKE! MAKE 'IM QUAKE!" Cheered Shrapnel as many cheerleaders "STICK THAT SWORD INTO THAT SNAKE!"

"YOU SSSSTAY OUT OF THIS!" Commanded Orochimaru. Shrapnel then took a small flag with an O on it and began waving it.

"Orochimaru, Orochimaru, he's our man." He said in a monotone "If he can't do it GREAT!"

Orochimaru struck again and again only to see his strikes miss by mere feet. He then caught Jaden on the arm and pulled off the Duel Disk.

"JADEN!" Shouted Alexis, the sand getting dangerously high. Jaden ran off to slice open the glass somehow and release Alexis, but he was caught in Orochimaru's coils in his moment of.

"Time to break you in half!" Hissed Orochimaru "You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on earth?!"

"THAT'S IT, Mr. O!" Shouted Chazz, who recovered from RJ's attack "Squeeze him like a…" Chazz never finished, seeing as Shrapnel shot him in the arm.

"Without the trigger-happy lunatic of a genie, you're nothing but a BOY!" Taunted Orochimaru. Jaden then got an idea.

"Shrapnel…" he murmured to himself before springing into action "Shrapnel has more power than you'll EVER have!"

"WHAT?!" Demanded the snake.

"He GAVE you your power!" Jaden grunted, Orochimaru's coils were getting tighter "He can take it away!"  
"Uh…Jay?" Shrapnel asked "Why're you bringin' ME into this, very uncomfortable topic? I mean…"

"Face it, Orochimaru!" Jaden shouted "You're STILL only second best!"

Orochimaru then realized what Jaden was talking about "You're RIGHT—his power exceeds my own! But not for long…"

"Uh…is it too late to enter retirement?" Shrapnel asked.

"SHRAPNEL! My final wish! I wish for you to make me an ALL-POWERFUL GENIE!" Commanded Orochimaru.

"Dang." Shrapnel murmured, before answering, half-heartedly "Ah well, your wish is my command…_this won't be pretty…_"

Shrapnel fired his gun at Orochimaru, who recoiled as the magic struck him. Alexis' fingers were disappearing under the sand as Orochimaru changed into a black genie.

"THE POWER!" Roared Orochimaru as Jaden picked up his Duel Disk and slashed open the hourglass, releasing Alexis "THE ABSOLUTE POWER!"

"What've you done?!" Alexis shouted over the whirlwind, which was whipping around the entire castle.

"TRUST ME!" Jaden shouted.

"THE UNIVERSE IS MINE TO COMMAND! TO CONTROL!" Shouted Orochimaru as a white lamp appeared and Jaden snatched it.

"Hey, Orochimaru! Aren't ya forgetting something?" Jaden asked.

"WHAT?!" Shouted Orochimaru as shackles appeared on his wrists.

"You wanna be a genie, you've got it!" Shouted Jaden, holding up the white lamp "And everything that comes with it!"

"NO!" Cried Orochimaru "INCREDIBLE COSMIC POWERS!"

"See ya, Mr. O!" Shouted Chazz with a cast over his arm "I'm OUTTA HERE!" Orochimaru grabbed him by the leg, anyway "HEY!"

"I'M NOT GOING IN THERE ALONE!" Screamed Orochimaru as the two were sucked into the lamp.

"Itty…bitty…living space…" groaned Chazz.

"JADEN, ya little Genius Burger, you!" Shrapnel shouted, noogying Jaden as his friends came back.

"Well, THAT was a hassle…" Spongebob said.

"But hey," Sora replied "At least we won!"

Suddenly, RJ and Bumblebee returned to their original forms.

"_Hallelujah!_" Bumblebee sang from Handal's Messiah.

Mr. Krabs and Alexis returned to their old clothes and Red XIII returned to his usual size.

"At least I am back to my original size." Red XIII commented.

Then the castle returned to Crossopolis in its original position.


	15. Ending

Chapter 15: Ending

Jaden held up Orochimaru's pure white lamp.

"Get your foot out of my…" Orochimaru shouted, but Chazz cut across him.

"Ah, shaddup ya stupid snake-face!" Chazz snarled.

"YOU shut up!" Orochimaru growled. Shrapnel then picked it up and placed it in a crossbow. He then got into a baseball uniform.

"A couple thousand years under Manda oughta chill 'em out!" Shrapnel said as he pulled the trigger, sending them flying. He then shouted, after the two "GOT IT MEMORIZED?!"

Jaden sighed as he walked over to Alexis.

"Alexis," Jaden said "I'm sorry…about lying to you that I'm a prince."

"At least we have a thorough understanding of your position." Alexis replied, with a smile.

"I guess…this is goodbye." Jaden mumbled. Alexis seemed to get angry at this.

"That STUPID code! It isn't fair!" She snarled, before turning to Jaden "I love you!"

"Hey, Jay-man!" Shrapnel called, flying over to Jaden "No biggie! I'm YOUR deranged gunman genie again! Just say the word and you're a prince again! Got it memorized?"

"But…what about your freedom?" Jaden asked. Shrapnel was letting the ONE thing he wanted most in the world go down the drain.

"Ah, it's only an eternity of nonstop servitude." Shrapnel replied, waving away the comment "But, c'mon, THIS is love. Seriously." Shrapnel then began moving the two closer to each other "You won't be findin' a girl like this in a THOUSAND years! I know…I've tried. Got it…"

"Memorized." Sora, Kairi, Kiba, and Jack finished for him.

"The Axel line seems to be losing some of its luster…" Shrapnel muttered to himself. Jaden sighed and turned to Alexis.

"Alexis," he cooed, brushing her cheek with his hand "I REALLY love you, but I've gotta stop pretending to be something I'm not."

"I understand." Replied Alexis, smiling.

Jaden turned to Shrapnel. "Shrapnel," he announced "I wish for your freedom!"

"Alright, a hundred servants and…" Shrapnel said, but realized what Jaden said "JAY?!"

Jaden held out Shrapnel's golden lamp to him.

"Shrapnel," proclaimed Jaden, lifting the lamp "YOU'RE FREE!"

Magic swirled around Shrapnel and his dark blue wisp turned into a pair of ragged jeans with boots that said 'Open Fire' on them. His cuffs also sprang off and clattered on the ground. He was free. He picked up his lamp in disbelief.

"I'm free…I'M FREE!" He shouted, then turned to Jaden "Ask for anything! Wish for Da Nile!"

"I…uh…wish for denial?" Jaden asked.

"NO WAY!" Screamed Shrapnel like the lunatic he was "YES!! I'm MY OWN CRAZED GUNMAN! Thank God Almighty! I'm FREE AT LAST!" Shrapnel then summoned a suit case out of nowhere and began packing it with odds and ends "I'm gonna see the world! I'm gonna…" Shrapnel then noticed Jaden was looking…a bit sad.

"Well, Shrapnel…" Jaden said, snuffling a bit "I…I'm gonna miss ya, bro."

"It's okay, Jay." Shrapnel replied, picking him up "You're ALWAYS a prince to ME!"  
"Aye, he sure has proven his worth as a prince. _Even though he isn't rich…_" Mr. Krabs added "It's that blasted law that's the problem!"  
"Dad?" Asked Alexis, not believing her own ears.

"Well, I AM the Captain of all Crossopolis." Replied Mr. Krabs "For THIS day forth, any sailor princess shall be married to ANYONE she wants!"

Alexis screamed in joy and ran to Naruto, who caught her. "HIM! I choose…YOU, Jaden…" she sighed. Jaden grinned.

"Call me Jay." He replied. Sora wrapped his arms around Kairi and they were both blushing at this.

"Weird, isn't it?" Kiba asked.

"Well, lovers DO make the world go 'round mate, savvy?" Jack said.

"Nah, its just Jaden has Alexis and Sora has Kairi, but here we are alone in Lover's Lane." Kiba added.

"Well, my first and ONLY love is the sea…that and rum or copious amounts of booty." Jack replied.

"I can't let Jaden and Sora get all the romance!" Kiba snarled, punching his fist into his hand. He then noticed a girl with brown hair, green eyes, yellow shorts, and an orange shirt and turned as red as his markings. "I'm Kiba." He said to the girl.

"I'm Olette." Replied the girl. Kiba then kissed her.

"How very Drake and Josh…" Murmured Jack.

"Aw, ain't THAT romantic!" Shrapnel said after Olette left "C'MON, GROUP HUG! GROUP HUG!" He then scooped up Jaden, Alexis, Sora, Kairi, Jack, Kiba, Mr. Krabs, Red XIII, RJ, AND Bumblebee between his arms. He turned to Jaden and asked "Can I kiss the raccoon?" He kissed RJ, but soon spat "Rabies…" Shrapnel then flew away, firing into the sky with his guns "Well, I can't do much more damage around this taco stand…I'M OUTTA HERE! Bye-Bye ya crazy lovebirds! I'm history! No, I'm mythology! No I don't care what I am, I'm FREE-HEE!"

That night, Bumblebee was driving with Jaden and Alexis on top of his roof, Sora and Kairi in the driver's and front seat, and Jack, Kiba, and RJ staying in the back seat.

Jaden: _A whole new world._

Alexis: _A whole new world._

Sora: _A whole new life._

Kairi: _A whole new life._

All four: _For you and me._

Chorus: _A whole new world!_

The six drove off into the moonlight. The moon then appeared to have Shrapnel's laughing face on it. The film was then grabbed "off projector" to show Shrapnel with a gun.

"Made ya look! Ha-HA!" He laughed, letting it drop down with a crash.

The End.

Voice Cast:

Jaden Yuki: Pete Capella

Alexis Rhodes: Priscilla Everett

Sora: Haley Joel Osment

Kairi: Hayden Panettiere

Jack Sparrow: Johnny Depp

Kiba: Kyle Herbert

RJ: Bruce Willis

Shrapnel: Quinton Flynn

Mr. Krabs: Clancy Brown

Red XIII: Liam O'Brien

Orochimaru: Steven Blum

Chazz Princeton: Sebastian Arcelus

Mizuki: Michael Reisz

Pete: Jim Cummings

Koopa Bros.: Wayne Grayson

Marvin the Martian: Bob Bergen

"Tyranno" Hassleberry: David Wills

Spongebob: Tom Kenny

Patrick: Bill Fagerbakke

Gary: Tom Kenny

Naruto: Maile Flanagan

Kakashi: Dave Wittenberg

Sasuke: Yuri Lowenthal

Sakura: Kate Higgins

Jim "Crocodile" Cook: Eric Bana

Vincent Valentine: Steven Blum

Olette: Jessica DiCicco

Manda: Richard Epcar

Jorgan von Strangle: Darren Norris

J. Jonah Jameson: J.K Simmons

_I don't REALLY know who voices Jim Cook in English, so I went with the first thing that came to mind._


End file.
